Life Without Jenny
by Doccubus
Summary: After Jenny's death, life is different. Bette and Tina work on their relationship cuz the video on Jenny's phone was exposed, Helena reunites with an old friend and sparks fly, Alice and Tasha work out their differences, and Shane finds true love at last.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the L word or any of it's characters so please don't sue I don't make any profit out of this and I'm poor.**

**Life Without Jenny **

Shane:

I will never forget the expression on Alice's face when she walked into Bette and Tina's living room, tears rolling down her face, and only being able to say, "g-guys, Jenny! Jenny!" We all reacted the same way. We jumped and ran toward the pool. I was out of the door first with Bette right behind me. Then I saw her, he lifeless body floating in the pool, her eyes wide open. Pain shot through my heart and I yelled out "Jenny!" as I jumped into the pool.

I heard the cried of the others and I heard another splash as Bette jumped into the pool next to me. "No, no, no!" I cried hugging the body of best friend to my chest.

"Tina, call 9-11!" Bette cried trying to pry me off of Jenny's body.

"I already did," Helena said.

"God just get her out of there!" Kit cried, tears rolling down her face.

Bette tried to pry me off again but I resisted unable to release one of the most important people in my life. "Shane," Bette said, "you have to let her go."

"No, no!" I cried letting my tears fall onto her pale, innocent face.

"You tried to save her Shane," Alice said, "you really did. But no one could save her."

"Shane," Bette repeated softly.

I let out a whimper and released Jenny so that Bette could help me get her out of the pool.

"Guys," Helena said, "what if she didn't kill herself?"

"No way, you think someone murdered her?" Alice said.

"Anything's possible," Kit said, "a lot of people had the motive to do so." She looked worriedly at Bette then at Tina, then at Alice.

Max, who had been observing quietly, and trying to hide the tears that were streaming down his face couldn't move from his spot at the door. He watched as Bette and I pulled Jenny out of the pool and attempted CPR to no avail.

"God," he said wiping his tears. He turned his head as if he heard something then said, "Tina, I think Angelica is crying."

"Oh," Tina said wiping her tears, "I don't want her to see this." She walked into the house and Max followed her.

"You don't mind if I go with you do you? I don't wanna see her like that," Max said.

"Of course not Max," Tina said solemnly.

"God, please Shane, close her eyes," Alice cried.

I looked down at her wide open blue-grey eyes but I couldn't bring myself to shut them. No one would ever see those eyes ever again. Bette was the one who put her hand gently on Jenny's eyelids and shut her eyes.

"Come on, let's go to the living room and wait for the cops to get here," Bette said.

"You think someone really did this to Jenny?" I said my voice cracking.

"I think it's a possibility," Bette said.

I couldn't get those images out of my head as I slipped on my black shirt and coat. It had been a week and that was the scene that enfolded in my head. The house was so empty without her. Everything in there reminded me of her and I haven't been able to go into her room. After so many hours of interrogations I couldn't bring myself to sleep here, so Bette and Tina let me sleep at their place. They had postponed their move to New York, mostly because they weren't allowed to leave until the murder investigation was over. It was only yesterday that I built up the courage to sleep in my house again.

"Shane?" I heard Alice's voice.

"Coming," I said walking slowly out of my room. I couldn't stop the burning tears that threatened to spill from my eyes as I walked past Jenny's room.

In the living room, Alice and Tasha were waiting in the living room along with Max who look disturbed. I knew that he was trying to hold his tears in, he lost two people in his life right after the other, I imagine he feels so alone.

"You okay?" Alice said.

"Yeah," I responded.

"You're taking this way worse than when D…" Max trailed off.

"You can say it," Alice said, her voice laced with pain.

"Then when…Dana died," Max said softly.

Tasha put a gentle hand on Alice's shoulder and Alice gave her an appreciative nod wiping her tears away.

"Bette and Tina are waiting outside, Kit and Helena are already there," Alice said quickly. I knew she was hiding her emotions again. She didn't normally do that, but when something was too painful, she pretended it didn't affect her.

We walked to the door and I said, "do they still have Nikki in custody?"

"She's a prime suspect in Jenny's murder," Alice said, "her and Dylan. But Dylan has disappeared. No one knows where she is, not even Helena."

"That just makes her most suspicious," Tasha commented as they walked out of the house and towards the car.

Alice and Tasha got in the car and Max got in my jeep with me. We followed Bette and Tina in silence. I needed to ask Max for help because I couldn't cope with this myself.

"Max," I said tentatively.

"Yeah?" Max responded.

"I-can, can you help me clean out Jenny's room?" I asked.

Max sighed and said, "I don't know if I can go in there, but I will try."

"Thanks, I really don't wanna do this alone," I said.

We arrived at the cemetery and we were shocked by the amount of people that had shown up. Jenny's roommate from college was there in a fit of tears. Marina was there looking like a statue. I could tell she was in a state of complete shock. All the actors that had been in "Lez Girls" were there as well as the production team. Helena and Kit were guiding people to their seats, and trying to calm down Jenny's mother who was in a fit of hysterics.

"They didn't leave each other on good terms," Max said remembering the unfortunate incident, "she must feel really bad about herself."

I saw Papi and some of her friends sitting down in the seats followed by Ivan. Max and I got down the car started walking toward the crowd.

"Shane," I heard a male voice say.

I turned around and breathed out in surprise, "Tim."

"How…Who…Why?" he managed to say.

"I don't know Tim, but it's killing me," I said, "she was my best friend."

"I never stopped loving her you know?" He said tears flowing down his face, "I can't help but think that if I would have forgiven her, she wouldn't have ended out like this."

"It's not your fault, Tim," I pacified, "this was coming, there was no avoiding it."

"God," Tim said softly walking to the chairs and sitting down next to Robin who looked positively distressed.

I sat in an empty chair in the back next to Jodi who was strategically far away from Bette who kept on eyeing her. Jodi knew how bad Bette felt about hurting her, we all knew that, but Jodi had already made her decision that it was either lover or nothing at all. Friend was not an option. I thought Max was going to sit in the empty chair on the other side of me, but he sat near the front next to Kit and Helena. I assume he probably blamed Jodi for the disappearance of his baby daddy/interpreter.

I saw from the corner of my eye someone taking the empty chair next to me and when I turned my heart leaped up to my throat and I couldn't even breathe let alone talk.

She looked so beautiful, even when her eyes were red and there were tears rolling down her beautiful brown face.

"Hey Shane," she said softly. I could tell it was difficult for her to speak, I could tell by the strain in her voice.

My voice was raw with pain and memories, and all I was able to muster was her one word, her name. "Carmen…"

…

Alice:

We had been lying down like this for two hours now. It had been three weeks since Jenny's funeral and with the investigation going on I hadn't been able to talk to Tasha about Jamie. So tonight, I knew we were both off from work, so I decided it would be a good time to talk. However, we haven't uttered a word. If I don't say something, I know one of us will fall asleep, my bed is just too comfortable.

"Did you fuck her?" I said finally.

I didn't turn my head, afraid of what I would see in her eyes. I did feel her gaze on me, but I had grown accustomed to it. It didn't make me cringe anymore.

"No," she said simply.

"Did you kiss her?" I asked tentatively.

Tasha inhaled deeply and said, "when you were unsure of your feelings for Dana, did you kiss her?"

"I did a lot more than kiss her Tasha," I answered remembering the fiery 4 am kiss in front of her door step. I smiled fondly at the memory then finally turned my head to look at Tasha for the first time.

"Well you did a lot more because when you kissed her you felt something and she felt something," Tasha said.

"Yeah, it was like a spark of electricity," I said, "we had a very passionate relationship. Like you and me."

"When I kissed Jamie, there was no electricity," Tasha said.

"None at all?" I said disbelievingly.

"None whatsoever," Tasha said, "it's not like when I kiss you." With those words her lips pressed against mine softly, "there's sparks flying."

"I feel them," I said softly, my voice betraying my desire as it only occurred when Dana used to kiss me, and now Tasha.

"You're the only one that I want," Tasha whispered huskily kissing my lips more passionately this time, "I'm not going anywhere."

"God I love you," I said giving in to my desire and crashing my lips against hers. I tongues met in a desperate battle for dominance. Normally Tasha dominated our sexual encounters and she would let me dominate sometimes. This time I wanted to dominate because I wanted to. Dana always dominated me and I wish I would have dominated her…I never got the chance.

With a set mission in mind, I straddled Tasha seductively and slipped off my shirt. I wasn't wearing a bra and this pleased her. She let out "sss" sound as if something had burned her and her hands were immediately cupping my breasts. I let her caress them for a while out my own personal need, but then I grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head. She looked at me in surprise and watched me closely for my next move. With one hand still holding her arms in place, I brought my other hand under her shirt and to her breast. She wasn't wearing a bra either. One of the things we have in common is that we synchronize in this aspect. I tweaked her nipple roughly and she arched her back letting out a long moan.

I kissed her neck softly, then started sucking the artery which I knew drove her crazy. I slid my hand down her stomach and into her sweats, under her panties. I wasn't surprised by the wetness, just by the amount of wetness there was. She let out another moan at the contact and bucked her hips. She was getting desperate. I circled her clit agonizingly slow with my thumb then I slipped my index and middle finger even slower.

"Aaaaliiccce," she hissed, "y-you f-fuckin' tease!"

"What do you want?" I whispered seductively in her ear biting it.

"Fuck," Tasha moaned, "I want, I want you to…"

"Me to what?" I instigated. I know this was hard for Tasha because of her military-strong pride, but I needed to hear it.

"F-fuck me!" she cried. That was all I needed to hear before I started slamming my fingers in and out of her as fast as my hands let me. She was letting out loud screams that weren't normal for her. I lurched my body forward and back to help me press my fingers deeper and deeper into her.

"S-shit I'm gonna…" That's all she was able to say before an earsplitting shriek filled the room and her body racked with shudders and trembles. I removed my fingers very proud of myself. I never even made Dana cum like that, or anyone else for that matter.

I watched as she panted, trying to catch her breath. I stood up and slipped my pj pants and panties down, then straddled her neck, putting my aching pussy right in front of her face.

"Your turn baby," I challenged, "can you top that?"

I mischievous smile crossed Tasha's features and her hands wrapped around my thighs bring my center to her hungry mouth. I let out a moan of pleasure upon feeling her wet tongue and grabbed the headboard for support.

Oh this was going to be a very interesting night…

…

Tina:

When I saw that video Jenny had recorded there were so many things going through my mind. I considered leaving Bette, I was so angry, but then I considered the possibility that Bette was telling the truth, after all Jenny did steal the negatives for her own movie then cried and told me that she was completely innocent. She made me lose my job. How do I know that she wasn't lying about Bette and Kelly? Then again the evidence was compelling, but I refused to do what we did in the past. We broke up so many times because we never talked about the issue, then when the whole thing was forgotten we would ran back to each other unable to live without each other.

I wasn't going to let that happen again. So I took a deep breath and walked into our room. I knew Bette was waiting for me, and she didn't disappoint. She was sitting on the bed anxiously, tears were all over her face and her mascara had run all the way down to her jaw line. That beautiful, perfect jaw line. I shook my head to get out of that line of thinking and focused at the task at hand.

"Tina," she started.

"Shh," I interrupted, "let me go first."

Bette nodded and gulped. I could tell she was nervous. She wasn't like this when she cheated on me with Candace. She was guilt-ridden and desperate for forgiveness. And she was the same way when she cheated on Jodi with me. Maybe she really didn't cheat on me, but I have to remain objective.

"How do you expect me to believe that you didn't sleep with Kelly when I see a video like that?" Tina said, "you say you were only picking up a glass she had dropped and broken, but with your track record…"

"Tina," Bette said gently, "I swear to you, I did not sleep with Kelly. She made a pass at me, I pushed her away and said I love you. She was drunk so she bumped into the table and dropped the wine glass. I was picking it up and that's what Jenny saw. She misunderstood, Tina, please, you have to believe me."

"Swear? Bette Porter doesn't swear," I said taking in her words.

"I swear on my father's grave that I did not sleep with her," Bette said grabbing my hands, "I love you and you are the only woman I need, Tina Kinnard."

Her words were powerful. I looked into her eyes and I saw the truth in them. The way her hands gripped mine as if her biggest fear in the world was me walking out of that room and never returning. I knew it then that she was telling the truth. Her eyes said so. And no one knew her eyes like I knew them…

…..

Helena:

"Kit, this is stupid," I snapped angrily folding my arms over my chest.

"Sorry baby girl, but I know the signs, I was an alcoholic once myself," Kit said, "if anybody can help you it's Ivan."

"I don't need help," I snapped.

"Helena," Kit said, "I used to say that same thing, then I ruined my life. My father disowned me, my son didn't want to see, and barely does. Bette was the only person who talked to me and that was because I was there when…" Kit trailed off.

"When what?" I pressed.

"Bette and I agreed to never mention it ever," Kit said, "I don't think Tina even knows."

"That bad?"

"Yes, and if hadn't cleaned up my act, I wouldn't have been able to save my sister. She would have been lost," Kit said, "I can't let you get to that point Helena. That's why I brought you here. I can take care of 'The Planet" and 'Hit' by myself while you recover."

"Fine," I said in defeat, "but only for you. What is this thing anyways?"

"Well Ivan gets a group of people together who are addicted to something," Kit explained, "it could be an addiction to money, drugs, alcohol, or even sex. Together they hike and camp through the mountains while having group and individual sessions."

"This worked for you?" I asked.

"Yes, but back then Ivan was a group member not the leader, we shared a tent together that's how we became friends," Kit explained, "if it worked for me it will definitely work for you, and Ivan is a much better leader than the old one."

I sighed deeply and said, "alright, I'll do it, but only for you because I am not an alcoholic!"

"The first step to recovering is by admitting that you have a problem," Ivan's cool voice said startling me. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance and he simply smiled and said, "it's okay Helena, it takes time. Come on, let me introduce you to your tent mate. I made this choice very carefully, it's someone you know."

Ivan walked toward the group of people waiting patiently and I turned to Kit saying, "someone I know? So help me God if it is Dylan, I am leaving right now!"

"I doubt it's Dylan, she is wanted by the police for the murder of Jenny, Ivan knows that. He would report her right away," Kit reassured.

"Well that does make me feel a bit better," I said sighing and turning to follow Ivan.

"Hey," Kit said turning me around and embracing me warmly, "good luck."

"Thank you," I said returning the hug fondly then walking to Ivan's side. Ivan smiled at Kit then led me toward my tent.

"Your tent partner is inside, go ahead and get acquainted, we start the hike tomorrow morning," Ivan said walking away from her.

I looked at the tent then unzipped it hesitantly. I entered and closed it behind me then gasped when I saw my tent mate. It was someone I thought I would never see again, Dusty…

**Da da dummm! Things are heating up! This is my first L word fic so don't judge too harshly but please review and do mention if I got some character aspect wrong or some sort of inconsistency. I hope you guys like it and if you do, I would love to continue this fic.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the L word or any of its characters**

Shane:

"Are you sure about this?" I asked searching her eyes for an answer.

She averted her brown eyes for a moment before looking at me again, "Jenny was my girlfriend, Shane. I want to help you clean out her room."

I sighed and put a tentative hand on her shoulder, "thank you, Carmen." I turned around to look at Max who was sitting oddly silent on the couch. "Max, what about you?" I asked.

"I can't, Shane," Max responded tears welling up in his eyes, "I just can't go in that room."

"That's okay Max, you don't have to," I said softly.

"Thanks," Max said softly, averting her sad eyes away from my blue ones.

"Hey Max," I said tenderly, "Tom is an asshole okay. You're gonna be a great dad." I don't know what possessed me to say what I did, but it was the right thing to say. She gave me her small Max smile and nodded.

I gave Carmen a small nod and we went to Jenny's door. I stood there watching the door, unable to move, unable to open it. It was Carmen who let out a sigh and opened the door. She went in and looked around the room. I froze at the doorway, the smell of my best friend entering my system, memories flooding my brain, and tears filling my eyes.

"Shane," Carmen said wiping tears from her eyes, "come on."

I nodded and stepped into Jenny's room hesitantly. "Let's start with the closet," I said softly. Carmen nodded and we walked to the closet. We looked at Jenny's clothes and art supplies and we stood there frozen for moment.

"I remember when we were cleaning out her closet, things that she wanted to forget about her life," I said, "she didn't want to throw anything away. She threw away some things from her relationship with Tim but refused to throw away anything from her relationship with Marina or anyone else after her."

"I guess they all meant something to her," Carmen commented, "well except Tim, I guess."

"No," I said, "look." I pointed towards a dirty, torn up pink sweater that was hanging on the side of the closet. "That was the shirt she wore when she married Tim," I said, "she didn't even grab it as an option to throw away."

"She wanted to keep a little piece of everyone," Carmen said smiling fondly and looking into the closet. "Hey, that's mine!" she exclaimed grabbing her red shirt that was hanging on the rack. I remember that red shirt fondly. It was the one she wore the first time we were together in that sound room. The memory brought tears to my eyes and I averted my gaze.

"What?" Carmen said looking at me.

"That was the shirt you wore the first time we met, and we…" I trailed off.

Carmen turned her head and sighed sadly, "yeah." She avoided my gaze for a long while before moving into the closet and picking out clothes from the rack.

"Carmen, I fucked up," I said.

I saw her pause for a minute, then she pulled out one of my T-shirts from the closet. "This one is yours," she said handing me the shirt, "I thought she only kept mementos of lovers."

"She did," I said.

Carmen turned her head to look at me for the first time since I mentioned the red shirt. "You and Jenny?"

"She fell in love with me Carmen, I knew she would hurt herself if I didn't get with her."

"So you didn't love her?" Carmen said.

"Not like that," I said, "it was my happiness for hers."

"Happiness," Carmen repeated with a scoff, "I find it hard to believe you would sacrifice something like that for someone else."

"I was never gonna find happiness anyways," I said looking deep into Carmen's eyes.

Carmen looked into my eyes and her eyes narrowed. I knew she was angry, I knew she wanted to say something mean to hurt my feelings, but I saw the pity move into her eyes. She always had a good heart.

"You don't think you will ever find happiness?" she said softly.

I let out a long sigh and with tear-filled eyes I looked at her and said, "I lost that chance the moment I lost you…"

….

Bette:

I cannot believe I am here right now, but I'm willing to endure this for Tina.

"Welcome to trust building class," the effeminate man said walking to the front of the room, "why don't we start with introductions?"

There was four couples in the room and he looked at the one at the other side. Good, we're last.

"My name is Marie," the woman said, "and this is my husband Carl."

The next couple looked angry, the man was the one who stepped forward and said, "I'm Bill, this is my girlfriend…"

"I could fucking introduce myself!" the woman snapped.

"Fine then!" Bill said angrily.

"I'm Stacey."

The third couple looked timid, and my impression was right, they were too scared to introduce themselves.

"Why don't you introduce each other," the instructor suggested.

"Okay," the man said softly, "this is my partner, Alfred."

"You know I don't like Alfred," he whispered thinking we hadn't heard him, but I could tell we all did by the way everyone was fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Sorry, his name is Ally," the man corrected.

"Thank you," Ally said, "this is my partner Jackson."

The instructor nodded and looked towards me and Tina. Fuck. Tina noticed my distress and gave me a small smile, then said, "My name is Tina and this is my partner…"

"Fiancé," I corrected.

"Fiancé, Bette." Tina adjusted.

"Welcome all of you," the instructor said, "my name is Will, and I will be your trust building instructor. We will do trust-building exercises in here for half an hour than each of you will get personal alone time with me for the rest of the time. Now let's start with the simplest form of building trust, the trust fall."

"Seriously?" I whispered.

"Bette, come on," Tina urged.

"Fine," I said with a frustrated sigh.

"I want you to drop yourselves completely into each other's arms, if you can't let yourself go then you have some trust issues that need a lot of work," Will instructed.

"Ready?" Tina asked getting in front of me.

"Yes," I said bending my knees and putting my arms in front of me. Tina let out a breath nervously and she let herself go. By the time she got to my arms I noticed she bend her knees to catch herself.

"Hmm," Will commented, "now switch."

I turned around and I looked back at Tina nervously. I hesitated then exhaled deeply and let myself go. I couldn't help but bend my knees to catch myself. I heard Tina let out a frustrated grunt as she pushed me back up to my feet.

"Wow, you two," Will said, "normally only one partner doesn't trust the other, that was the case with everyone else, but neither one of you trusts each other. I think we need to set up some extra sessions. Come with me." I sighed in annoyance and followed the man with Tina trailing behind me.

We went into the office and sat down across from him.

"Now, let's discuss why you have these trust issues," Will said.

"Well, she cheated on me two years ago," Tina said.

I cringed at the bluntness of her words and said, "well, she cheated on me too."

"So are you worried one of you will cheat on the other?" Will asked.

"Yes," Tina said, "I'm sorry baby, but you have a history and then that thing with Kelly."

"But I didn't sleep with Kelly," I defended trying to hide the annoyance.

"I know that baby, but I can't be worried about you with her every time you go to work, she's your business partner!" Tina said.

"What about you Bette?" Will asked, "why don't you trust, Tina? Same reason?"

"No," I said, "Tina will never cheat on me. I don't know why I can't fully trust her, I just don't feel like I can tell her everything."

"You haven't told me everything?" Tina asked, I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Don't despair Tina, that's why you're here," Will said, "you build your trust in Bette, and she builds her trust in you and be able to tell you everything."

Tina sighed and said, "so what do we do?"

"First thing is first," Will said, "when you get home tonight, I want you to try an exercise. It's called 'Lead me blind.' The exercise consists of one of you wearing a blindfold all night and the other guiding her to do everything. It consists of pure trust. For this exercise I want Bette to be blindfolded."

"Me?" I repeated in surprise.

"Yes," Will said, "you are a woman who likes to be in control, and if you can trust Tina to let her control you, then you are showing how much you love her, and therefore building her trust in you as well."

"Seems like a win-win situation," Tina said hopefully, "we'll do it."

Will smiled encouragingly and said, "good luck."

I sighed deeply and gave Tina an approving nod. Oh this is going to be fucking hell…

…

Helena:

"I never thought I was going to see you again," I said looking over to Dusty who was lying down next to me, "I thought you were going to stay on the island."

"I was, but I got a loan from _El Tigre_ and I couldn't pay him back, I had to run," Dusty said.

"_El Tigre? _You said you weren't going to go to that bastard again after the first time! I told you that you could come to me if you needed money," I said.

"Helena, you bailed me out of prison and gave me a new home, you've done enough," Dusty said gently, "I don't deserve it."

"So what are you addicted to?" I asked.

"Well as soon as I got here, it didn't take me long to try to rob the bank. I was in prison for a very long time," Dusty said, "the only reason they let me out is because I agreed to come here and work on my addiction to money. What about you?"

"My friend and business partner, Kit, says that I'm an alcoholic," I answered.

"Why do you drink?" Dusty said.

"Why? I don't know, I just like to drink," I lied.

"Don't bullshit me," Dusty said.

I sighed and said, "I drink to get rid of the pain."

Dusty sat up suddenly with an angry expression on his face, "who hurt you?" she snarled angrily.

I sighed and gave her a small smile, "that's so sweet. Tell you what, when you tell me about that nightmare you have at night, I'll tell you who hurt me."

Dusty let out a loud sigh and said, "good deal."

She leaned back to lie next to me and turned to her side to look at me. She caressed my cheek softly and I leaned my cheek to her touch. It still surprised me how soft and tender she could be when she was so muscular and rough. I normally wouldn't be attracted to someone like her because she looks to much like a man, but when I saw her tender, no, her womanly side, I couldn't help but bend to her will.

Then I felt her lips on mine and a fire erupted within me. She never liked to talk when we got passionate, but I was quite the opposite.

"Turn off the light," I whispered.

"Mmm," she groaned anxiously moving her lips down to my throat, "why?"

I let out a small moan and said, "because anyone outside could see our shadows and know what we're doing."

"They will know anyways because you're loud," Dusty murmured slipping off my shirt.

"Then cover my mouth," I suggested with a wink.

Dusty groaned lustfully and unhooked my bra. "I know you don't want to stop," I said with a gasp as her lips hooked onto my nipple, "but you don't want nasty men ogling at us do you?"

With those words, Dusty paused and reached over to the lantern and turned it off. I always knew how to outsmart Dusty and I took the opportunity to get the upper hand and straddle Dusty underneath me. Dusty let out a grunt and caressed my stomach and breasts slowly as I unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off.

I hated her muscle shirts and she never seemed to believe in exposing her bare chest. With a frustrated groan I put my fingers on the collar and ripped it right down the middle. I felt a passionate growl building in her chest and I found myself on my back once more.

"Shit," I murmured unable to get the control back.

"Nice try," Dusty whispered in my ear taking the lobe into her mouth and biting and sucking it lightly.

I moaned loudly and then I felt her hand on my mouth.

"Shh," she said moving her other hand down my body and into the waistband of my pants and panties. I felt her fingers enter me and I let out a moan that was muffled by her massive hand.

"Dusty, shhiittt!" I said, muffled of course. She pumped her hand in and out of me so excruciatingly slow then she picked up the pace. She went harder and harder and her hand had to press harder against my mouth to stop the screams that were erupting from my chest. My body was shaking and the orgasm was ripping through me like thunder rumbling through my soul. Then I collapsed and the world around me started to go black. I sighed contently as I snuggled up to Dusty's chest. I had a feeling everything was going to be alright…

...

Alice:

A loud knock on the door awoke me from my slumber and I got up with a jolt only to find myself entangled in between brown arms and legs and my sheets, that definitely needed washing because it was still wet from all the sweat and...well other juices.

"Tasha," I whispered softly into her ear when the knock resounded again.

"Hmm?" Tasha groaned.

"Someone's at the door," I said.

She inhaled deeply and turned around so she could set me free. I sat up on the bed and grabbed my shirt and pants that were on the floor. I slipped them on and walked lazily to the door. I opened it a crack to see a man in a suit standing there. At first I got scared, but when he gave me a friendly smile and said, "Ms. Peozeki?" I relaxed and opened the door a little wider.

"Yes, that's me, how can I help you?" I said.

He extended his hand to shake mine and said, "Hello, my name is Robert Johnson, I work for Paramount Studios and I am the legal advisor for the group that bought the new screen play written by Jennifer Schecter."

I almost slammed the door in his face but Tasha's hand grabbed the door steadily and she looked at me as if indicating me to wait.

"Can you hang on for a bit?" I said.

"Sure," Robert said. I closed the door slowly then said, "Tasha, that was my idea!"

"And the legal advisor is here! You need to hear him out!" Tasha urged.

"Why so he could tell me how my idea is going to be a big success?" Alice said, "he probably wants me to announce it on my podcast because Jenny is dead."

"Hear him out," Tasha said.

"Fine," I said with a sigh. I opened the door and gave Robert a small sigh saying, "come in."

"Thank you," he said walking into the house and following Alice and Tasha into the living room.

"How can I help you?" I said.

"Like I was saying, I am the legal advisor for the group that bought the screenplay and I just wanted to show you this," he said handing me the screenplay. On the front cover it said: '"Opposites Attract,"' Screenplay by Jennifer Schecter and Alice Peozeki.'

"S-she mentioned me?" I said tears filling my eyes.

"She really didn't steal your idea," Tasha said.

"Ms. Schecter was going to meet with a few producers to try to get the production started, but since her unfortunate incident you as the co-writer have to take over," Robert said, "so I brought you a contract that you should read over and we can set up a meeting on Monday to talk about this." He handed me a small pack of papers and said, "Thank you so much for your time, here's my card, I'll be waiting for your call." He handed me his card, shook my hand, shook Tasha's hand then walked out of the apartment.

"Oh my God," I said unable to hide my complete and utter shock.

"I knew there was good in that girl," Tasha said, "are you going to take the job?"

"Yes, but I don't know anything about the movie business," I said.

"But you have a friend that does," Tasha said.

"You're right," I said, "I'll call Tina up tomorrow."

"You're gonna be great baby," Tasha said wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I hope so, I really do hope so..."


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own the L word or any of its characters**

Tina:

"This is crazy!" Bette whined touching the blindfold.

"Hey, trust me!" I said with a slight chuckle. It was very entertaining to watch Bette, the control freak, be simmered down to helpless child. It's like I can control every single thing. Hmm, that's very interesting. No wonder Bette likes it so much.

"How am I supposed to get any work done?" Bette complained.

"You said you only have to email that artist about making a deal for the exhibit," I said.

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to type if I can't see?"

"You should just have Kelly sleep with him, she has that tendency anyways," I murmured.

"I heard that, I've lost one of my senses remember? My other senses are heightened," Bette said with a chuckle, "that's not a very productive way of working."

"I know, but it's easier," I joked.

Bette scoffed and said, "not if it was me."

"That's because you don't like penis, but if it were a female artist…"

"Not when I have a woman like you at home," Bette said, "you're more than enough."

God Bette, you know the right words to say. I felt a blush run over my cheeks and a heat in the pit of my stomach. Good thing she couldn't see my eyes, then she would know. "Okay," I said inhaling deeply, "what do I type."

"Ugh, okay," Bette said, "dear Pablo, this is Bette Porter from the Worthington-Porter Gallery. My associate and I saw your artwork at the Mexican-American Museum and we were highly impressed. We would like to meet with you to discuss exhibiting your work at our gallery for our Spring exhibit. Please contact me so we can set up a meeting. Sincerely, Bette Porter."

I typed as fast as I could, making sure to get every single word then I read it back to Bette. When she nodded, I sent the email. "You're so good at what you do baby," I said, smiling proudly.

"As are you," Bette returned smiling broadly, "so, how am I supposed to cook? It's my night."

"I can do it," I offered.

"No that is not fair!" Bette said stubbornly, "you cooked some great pasta yesterday."

"I'll guide you," I said excited about the prospect of being pressed against her body as I guided her. Bette cocked her eyebrow curiously and I said, "Trust me." I loved when she cocked her eyebrow like that. It was the look she gave me when I did something particularly odd, like when we first had sex after our breakup and I told her to spread her legs. She gave me that look and said, "are you talking dirty to me?" I smiled fondly at the memory and grabbed her hand, leading her toward the kitchen. She walked hesitantly but then relaxed and let me lead. I remembered her reaction that day when she realized her food had burned. I had made her cum so hard she didn't even care.

I let out a small laugh at the memory and she said, "what?"

"Nothing, just remembering something," I said guiding her into the kitchen.

"Oh come on," Bette said, "what was it?"

"Well," I said, "I just remembered your reaction when your food had burned, you know, that one time."

Bette laughed and said, "yeah, Angie and I had takeout."

"Sorry," I said putting her hand into the water, washing them.

"Trust me Tina," Bette said huskily, "you have nothing to apologize for."

I took in a staggering breath and dried her hands with a towel. "What do you need?" I said changing the subject, trying to distract myself.

"I need meat, tomatoes, onions, and garlic," Bette said.

"Okay," I said taking out the materials, "we're gonna season the meat first right?"

"Yeah, get the meat powder, salt, cinnamon, and pepper," Bette said.

I smiled as I grabbed the things, knowing that she wouldn't be giving me orders soon enough. "Where's the plates?" Bette said waving her arms around.

"To your right, baby," I answered.

Bette swung to her right slowly and opened the cabinet. She felt around until she found the plate she was looking for then moved slowly toward the counter. I grabbed her arm and led her to the counter. She felt around for the meat then put it on the plate. "Hand me the meat powder please," she said politely.

I handed it to her and she applied it on the meat, she tried to blend it together but I could tell she was having difficulty. I smiled at her effort then went to the sink to wash my hands. Once clean, I moved up behind Bette and pressed my breasts against her back. I heard her sharp intake of breath as I snaked my arms over hers and guide her hands to blend the seasoning into the meat. We work together, putting in the salt, pepper, and cinnamon. In the same position, I guide her hand properly to cut up the onions, tomatoes, and garlic.

I guide her over to the stove where she starts to grill the meat along with the onions. I stand behind her, guiding her so she wouldn't burn herself or put in the wrong seasoning. She adds in the garlic and the tomatoes, a sizzling sound filling the room, and a delicious aroma filling my senses. I loved how she was reacting to my soft touches.

"Wow, Bette, what is this?" I said as she put the final touches, with my guidance of course.

"I call it grilled beef with tomatoes and onions," Bette said imitating a French accent.

I laughed loudly and said, "well Chef Porter, this smells really good," then leaning in her ear adding, "like you."

Bette shivered slightly and said, "l-let's eat."

I can tell she was getting nervous, and I liked it. I couldn't help myself as I leaned forward and grabbed Bette's ear between my teeth.

"T…" she said breathlessly, her back arching. I love knowing this woman's weaknesses, so with a smirk, I flicked my tongue out and put it in her ear. She let out a groan of approval as a shudder ran down her body. I moved my lips down to her neck, sucking on the spot I knew drove her crazy. "Ffffuck!" Bette whispered throwing her head back. My hands roamed over her stomach and moved down to the waistline of her pants. She was getting anxious, I could feel it. I smirked and stopped all my actions receiving a frustrated growl from Bette.

"Time to eat," I said cheerfully, grabbing three plates and some forks and knives. "Angelica!" I called, "din-din!"

"Yes, mommy," came the response of my angel.

I went back into the kitchen and looked at Bette was breathing heavily trying to compose herself. "You okay baby?" I whispered seductively.

"You fucking tease, I'm gonna get you for that," she whispered menacingly.

"I'm not done with you yet," I whispered huskily grabbing the pan and bringing out to the table. I went back to the kitchen where Bette was leaning on the counter taking slow breaths.

"Trying to calm yourself down, baby?" I said grabbing her arm and leading her toward the dining room, "aww, did I get you all…wet." I emphasized the last word with a sloppy kiss on her throat to which she responded with a hiss.

I chuckled and helped Bette sit down then went to my seat next to her. "You're enjoying yourself aren't you?" Bette said huskily.

"You have no idea," I said as Angie came bounding down the hall in her pjs.

"Ooo, it smells good!" Angie said sitting down next to me.

"Mamma B cooked for us tonight," I said serving her a small piece of meat and cutting it for her.

"It looks yummy, thank you Mamma B," Angie said excitedly, grabbing her fork and stabbing a chunk of meat.

I couldn't help but smile at her antics as she scarfed the chunk down. I followed suit, cutting a piece off and eating it. "Wow, this is great!" I exclaimed leaning over to cut Bette's meat and handing her the fork.

"I'm glad you like it," Bette said eating her first piece.

"Mamma B," Angie said, "why are your eyes covered? Did you hurt your eye?"

"Er…yeah, that's what happened," Bette lied.

I chuckled at the response and said, "yes, honey, today you can call Mamma B, Pirate B."

Bette scowled at the joke and I laughed loudly. "Pirate?" Angie repeated obviously not understanding.

"Never mind, honey," I said.

"If I'm a pirate you're my wench," Bette murmured with a smirk.

I gasped playfully and said, "wench huh?" I slipped my shoe off and rubbed my foot against her Bette's leg. Bette tensed up and furrowed her brows.

"What's wrong, mommy?" Angie said.

"Uh, nothing," Bette said quickly trying to hide her reaction. I smirked as I inched my foot up Bette's leg until it was rubbing against her inner thigh. I could tell her breath was picking up and I could see the beads of sweat rolling down her face. She continued eating, as to not make it obvious to Angie that something was wrong.

"All done!" Angie said happily, putting down her fork.

"Good job honey," I said leaning my body forward and pressing my foot firmly against Bette's center. She jumped up with a gasp and said, "y-yeah sweety, good job."

I smirked at her reaction then looked at Angie, "time for bed honey, go brush your teeth."

"Yes, mommy," Angie said standing up. I removed my foot from its spot as Angie went around my chair to kiss me on the cheek, then did the same to Bette. "Good night," she called as she ran down the hall towards her room.

"Good night," Bette and I said. I stood up and starting picking up the plates heading toward the kitchen.

"Is she gone?" Bette asked tentatively.

"Yeah," I responded going back into the dining room and grabbing the leftovers.

"Okay good, Tina you are a bitch!"

I couldn't help but laugh at her comment, "why you don't like getting hot and bothered?"

"You are driving me crazy!" Bette said exasperatedly.

"Am I?" I teased, grabbing her hand and leading her into the kitchen with me, as she had picked up the rest of the plates. I led her to the sink and she put the plates in carefully.

I pushed against her back with my front once more, pressing her against the counter. My lips latched onto her throat and I sucked greedily. "Ah," Bette moaned grabbing the counter firmly.

I switched to the other side and gave her the same treatment. She leaned her head back against my shoulder as my tongue swirled around her throat. I turned her around rapidly and pressed her butt against the counter. She was panting as her hands wrapped firmly around my waist.

"I didn't say you could touch me," I said erotically.

Bette cocked her eyebrow, giving me that expression I liked. In one swift movement I ripped open her shirt, buttons flying across the kitchen. Then I leaned in and bit into her shoulder harshly. "Fuck!" Bette cried arching her back.

"I said, 'don't touch me'!"

Her arms immediately fell to her sides and I smiled at my dominance. I pulled off her shirt and unclasped her bra. She didn't protest as I undressed her, and I could have sworn I saw her smirking. I unbuckled her pants and slipped them down along with her underwear. God she was so beautiful.

"Beautiful," I whispered leaning in to capture her lips with mine. She responded quickly, opening her mouth for my tongue. Our tongues danced together for a moment before I broke the kiss and moved my lips lower to her hardening pink buds. I latched on without hesitation and I heard the sweetest moan escaping her lips.

"Oh, shhit!" Bette cried as I pinched her nipple with my other hand.

I parted from her hearing her cry of protest and discarded my shirt and bra quickly. I grabbed her hand and placed it on my breast slowly. She didn't hesitate to get to work, her hand massaging my breast teasingly, and pinching my nipple only very slightly.

"Mmm, you holding back?" I said.

"Mmm," was her response.

"Come here," I said grabbing her head and pressing it down against my chest. She got the hint immediately, her lips latching on to my nipple and sucking on it. Her tongue liked my skin all over. She moved up to my neck and sucked on a few spots that she knew would please me, then she moved down to the other nipple. I knew she didn't need to see to know where everything was. We used to do it all the time in dark closets at people's houses in the beginning of our relationship. Of course we stopped when Shane walked in on us.

I pushed her off of me gently and started unbuckling my pants. She must have heard my belt clanking because she directed her gaze down toward it.

"Do you know how wet I am, Bette?" I whispered.

"How wet?" Bette instigated.

I let my pants and panties drop, then I stepped out of them and kicked the away. I grabbed Bette's shoulders and pushed her down so she was on her knees in front of me. "Why don't you tell me?" I growled.

I saw Bette lose control and let out a loud moan as she wrapped her arms around my waist and slammed her face into my crotch. She didn't even bother teasing, she just latched onto my clit and sucked. I couldn't stop the yelp that escaped my chest and I felt her hesitation, but when I grabbed her hair hard and pushed her against me, she continued on with the same intensity.

"Ohhh," I cried, "yes Bette!" Then I felt her fingers at my entrance and my eyes widened. Her fingers entered me and I let out another moan. "Fuck, yes!" I cried gripping her hair so tight I though I would rip it off, but she seemed to like it because she let out a moan which vibrated through me.

Then almost simultaneously her tongue hit just the right spot as her finger slammed against my G spot. "Ahhhh! Right there! Right fucking there!" I screamed my knees shaking. She didn't dare change what she was doing. She sucked on that spot and hit her fingers against the same spot until I felt a wave of pleasure that swept me from my toes up to my head. I let out a scream as my body trembled out of control and my knees buckled.

I was still trembling as I crumbled down to the floor and into Bette's arms. I lied down on the kitchen floor, panting, trying to catch my breath, in some sort of daze. Bette's lips on my neck pulled me out of the daze and I looked at her.

"You okay babe?" Bette said tenderly.

"Oh yeah," I said shaking my head and getting into my dominant mood again, "but it's your turn!"

With those words I pushed her shoulders until she was underneath me. I rubbed my wet center against hers and she shivered letting out a moan. She was already on edge. This was gonna be fun. I led a trail of wet kisses from her neck down to her dripping center.

"T…" she uttered as I blew air out onto her throbbing clit, "please."

At the word please I lost it and I sucked the little nub into my mouth. Bette opened her mouth in a silent scream as her hands entangled in my blond locks. "Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" Bette cried her hips lifting off the floor. Evidently I was very good with my tongue, Helena said so too. I sucked harder and then I heard the scream. Her body was shaking, her head was thrown back, her back was arching, and her hips were so high off the floor I had to hold her so she would flip over. Then she collapsed onto the floor. Her body was still twitching from the intensity and her breathing was so fast I thought she was hyperventilating.

"Damn Tina," Bette said, "where the fuck did you learn that?"

I blushed at her comment, I hadn't shown her that trick yet. I had actually learned that trick from Henry, as hard to believe as that was, but I sure as hell wasn't gonna tell Bette that.

"It was in my bag of tricks," I answered, but I can tell she understood what I really meant, and she gave me a smile as if thanking me for not telling her. "You came really fast baby, I think that's a record."

"Well if you do that every time, I will come fast," Bette said, "that was really good."

"I got another trick," I said playfully.

"No way?" Bette said already starting to get nervous.

"You are gonna be sore tomorrow, but trust me it'll be worth it…"

….

Max:

I can't wait, I have to do this now. I was aware that it wasn't even ten yet, but I couldn't stand this anymore. I walked out into the living room were I saw Shane sitting on the couch, looking quite disturbed.

"You okay?" I asked. Even though I was anxious, I cared for Shane too much to just leave without making sure.

"Hmm?" Shane said looking up at me.

"You okay?" I repeated.

"Oh, y-yeah, I'm fine," Shane said. I was an obvious lie, but I knew Shane's tendency to hide her emotions, I was like that when I was Moira. I don't know why now as Max, I can't seem to control my emotions. Maybe it's the hormones.

"Where's Carmen?" I asked looking at the boxes outside of Jenny's room.

"I don't know," Shane said sadly.

"Is she coming back to help with the boxes?" I asked.

"I don't know," Shane said. I noticed the tears forming in Shane's eyes.

"Hey Shane," I said pausing by the door, "Jenny loved you a lot you know, and she would love it if you got back together with Carmen, cause Carmen still loves you."

"You think so?" Shane said.

"I think she'll come back," I said opening the door and squinting as the morning sun hit my face. I walked across the lawn into Bette and Tina's yard and went to the door. I rang the doorbell a few times until a sleepy-looking Tina answered the door.

"Hey Max, what's going on?" she sleepily.

"Sorry, did I wake you? I can come back later."

"No, no! Come in," Tina said opening the door wider for me to get in. She was wearing a robe and her hair was a mess. I think it was the messiest I've ever seen their house since I've known them. I ignored all the that and went straight to my point.

"Tina, I need your help," I said.

"My help? Sure, what's going on?"

"I need you to adopt my baby," I said.

"Max," Tina said softly, "we already talked about this."

"But Tina I'm gonna give him to foster care once he's born! I don't want this baby," I cried, "if I can do an abortion as far along as I am, I would!"

Tina's eyes widened a bit at my last statement and she said, "are you serious?"

"Yes," I said, "I don't want this baby. I'm gonna leave him at the foster home and then I'm gonna move, very far away."

"Your moving? Where?" Tina asked.

"I don't know, just far," I said.

"If you don't care about the baby, why do you want Bette and I to adopt him?" Tina asked.

"Because I care about you. I know you want another baby," I said, "so I'm giving you mine, I don't want him."

"He's not an object Max, he's a person," Tina said.

I could tell this was really bothering her, but maybe that would help me in the long run. "Exactly," I said, "that's how I see him, like an object."

I saw a flash of anger in Tina's eyes, but she kept her cool. "I think we might take you up on your offer Max," Tina said, "but I need to talk to Bette first."

I knew that she was gonna say all these horrible things about me and about how I'm a baby hater, but I also knew something like that would piss off Bette so much she would adopt my baby. "I'll go get the paper work, and when you make a decision, I'll have everything ready," I said.

I stood up to leave but Tina stopped me. "Max," she said softly, "regardless of what you say, you care about that child. You know that Bette and I can give him a good life and that's why you come to us."

"No, I don't care about this thing," I said coldly knowing that it would affect Tina, who cherished her pregnancy. She was gonna say something else when the door bell rang again.

"Don't go," Tina said walking over to the door and opening it. On the other side was a very ecstatic Alice who didn't even wait for an invitation and just barged in the house.

"Oh my God! I have so much to tell you!" she said walking over to the couch and sitting next to me, "where's Angie, school?"

"Yeah, Kit picked her up, cause Bette and I were too tired," Tina said.

"Yeah, I can see that, nice hickeys," Alice said pointing at the purple marks all over Tina's neck and chest. Tina, who I can tell didn't realize they were there, immediately tried to cover it up with her robe. Alice looked around the house and saw the disaster, especially in the kitchen. "Damn you guys fucked real hard last night, and I'm guessing the kitchen was the main location," she said.

I let out a laugh and Tina averted her gaze blushing deeply. How did Alice do that? She had knack for knowing everything. I lived with Jenny and Shane and she noticed their relationship before I did!

"What do you want Alice?" Tina said her avoidance of a response proving Alice right.

I noticed the cocky smirk on Alice's face and I couldn't help but smile. I was gonna miss them when I left. "Okay, okay," Alice said, "you're not gonna believe what happened last night."

"I don't think she cares about what YOU did last night," I commented.

Alice broke out in laughter and Tina blushed a deep shade of red, but couldn't help but giggle to my comment. "I didn't do anything…or anyone," Alice added with a wink, "this lawyer from Paramount came over to my apartment."

"Paramount? What the fuck?" Tina said sitting down.

"They're the ones that bought Jenny's screenplay."

"The one you said she stole?" I asked.

"Yes, but it turns out she didn't steal it," Alice said excitedly, "she named me co-writer."

"No way!" Tina said.

"Yes, and now they have six months to make the movie, and because Jenny's…well, you know, they want me to finish the job!" Alice finished.

"Wait, I didn't know Jenny was directing it," Tina said.

"She wasn't, she was just supervising," Alice said, "they already have a director, a crew and some of the cast, they just need actors for the lead role, and a producer."

"Wow, that's amazing," Tina said.

"That was very nice of Jenny," I said sadly. I didn't know Jenny actually had heart. She did when I met her, but then it turned cold as ice. Maybe it melted back towards the end. That's a good way to go.

"But the thing is I don't know a thing about supervising or anything like that," Alice said.

"All you have to do is approve and disapprove of things," Tina said.

"But I don't know which things to approve and disapprove," Alice said, "but if you were my producer you could help me."

"Producer? Me?" Tina said.

"Look, I know you gotta move to New York, but just stay for six months and do this movie with me," Alice begged.

"Plus you would have to stay for the birth of my son if you guys decide to adopt him," I said.

"Wait, you're considering adopting Max's baby?" Alice said.

"Wait, hold on guys!" Tina said, "I haven't decided anything, I have to talk to Bette."

"About what?" Bette's groggy voice said making the three of us jump. We looked toward her as she limped to the couch next to Tina and waited for a response.

"Your limping," I said, "are you hurt?"

Alice laughed and said, "no, she just got fucked so hard she can't move. Can't you tell? She has even more hickeys than Tina!"

Tina blushed again and Bette covered her throat with her hands. "Fuck you, Alice," Bette said.

I snickered and said, "well, that's the good kind of hurt."

Alice laughed louder and Bette and Tina looked at me in surprise, then broke out in laughter as well. "You're learning Max, good job," Alice commented.

"So what is it that you need to talk to me about?" Bette said.

"Decisions," Tina said.

"Long story short," Alice said, "I have to supervise the making of my movie and I need a producer, and I've asked Tina to put off moving for six months to produce this movie."

"And because I'm moving far away and leaving my baby in foster care, I've asked if you guys would adopt him because I'm gonna leave him anyways," I said.

Bette looked at Tina with an overwhelmed expression as Tina returned the look. They sure had a big decision to make…


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own the L word or any of its characters**

Carmen:

I have never been so confused in my entire life. Shane said she loved me and she asked me to marry her. Then says that she can never be changed and leaves me _vestida y alborotada _at the alter. Now she tells me she has changed and can't live her life without me, but she had been sleeping with Jenny and had cheated on her with Jenny's ex-girlfriend! That's so fucked up! How can she tell me she has changed when she did all of this just before Jenny's death? She said she only did all of that because she was trying to cope without me. That has to be a load of crap. Shane? Coping? That's not…Shane-like.

What the hell do I do now? I can't talk to Shane. Everytime I talk to her I feel my heart speeding at 100 mph and I start to get breathless. I can't talk when all I'm thinking about is her beautiful nipples and her magical fingers that have never failed to send me to the brink of ecstasy. I shook my head at the thoughts and stood up to pace around my room.

"Carmen," my mother's voice called as she came into my room, "you okay, _mija_?"

"Mom," I said plopping down on my bed letting my tears spill, "I still love her."

I heard my mother's deep sigh as she walked toward the bed and sat down next to me with her hand gently on my knee. "_Mija_, _un amor saca otro amor, _one love takes another love out."

I chuckled softly at my mother's exact translation and said, "it would probably be translating as 'the way to get rid of a stubborn love is to love another.' But it doesn't have as good of an effect."

"Okay _mija _so go to a gay club and get yourself a new woman," she said trying to nudge me.

"You're really getting used to me being a lesbian huh mom?"

"I always thought you never looked good with a man," she said.

I couldn't help but laugh at my mom's antics. Her first reaction had been "_mejor puta que lesbiana," _which translates roughly into, "I rather you be a slut than a lesbian." And now she says I never looked good with a man. If I told her I decided to be straight, I wonder what she would say…hmmm. Eww, never mind I can never be with a man, especially not after Shane. Oh fuck, I can't stop thinking about her.

"Mom," I said seriously, "I can't stop thinking about her and she said she changed and that she loves me."

"You saw her?" my mother said disbelievingly.

"Yes, at Jenny's funeral," I said, "she told me when I was helping her clean out Jenny's closet."

"Jenny? Is that the short one with the _ojos bonitos_?"

"Yes mom, that's the short one with the pretty eyes," I responded.

"You knew her enough to see Chane after what she did to you?" my mother said.

"Jenny was my ex-girlfriend," I said.

"Really?" my mother said in surprise, "oh, she's pretty why didn't you marry her? She wouldn't have left you at the alter."

"Mom, you don't know that," I said, "she was in love with Shane."

"Really?" my mom said, "but still she probably had less problems than Shane."

I sighed loudly and said, "mom, Jenny was murdered."

"_La asesinaron? Ay Dios mio."_

"Shane wants another chance mom," I said sitting up, "she was crying, she was on her knees begging, and Shane doesn't do that."

"_Mija,"_ my mom said, "I don't tell you what to do with your life, you were a lesbian for most of your life and barely found out about it! Look, if you wanna give Chane another chance, I support you I just hope she doesn't hurt you again. I hate to see you cry."

"So you think I should give her another chance?" I said.

"I think you should put her on _como se llama…prueba?"_ "Test?" I answered, "so put her on probation."

"_Si, asegurate que no te pueda joder," _she said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay mom, I will make sure she can't screw me over," I said chuckling.

"_Anda mija," _she said grabbing my hand and helping me up to my feet, "cheer up."

"_Gracias, mami," _I said kissing her on the cheek. I grabbed my bag and sighed deeply. I really hope Shane has changed, because I'm giving her my heart again…

….

Helena:

"Fucking shit," I breathed going limp and panting deeply. I looked down my body at Dusty who sat back on her heels and wiped the side of her mouth.

"You taste good," she said with a smirk, "but we should go before Ivan comes in here mad because we missed the first session."

"Yeah, let's go," I said sitting up weakly, "I couldn't help myself, your tongue is so good."

"And my fingers too, you almost woke up the whole camp," Dusty said grabbing my hand and helping me up to my feet.

I chuckled and said, "you never cease to surprise me."

Dusty smiled as she handed me my shirt and bra. I gave her a seductive look and threw the bra down only putting on my shirt. "Easy access," I said with a seductive grin.

I heard Dusty growl and grab her shirt, "don't tempt me woman."

"Okay, okay," I said lifting up my jeans and buttoning it, "let's go before I start begging you to fuck me."

I smirked when I heard Dusty's frustrated grunt as I walked past her and out of the tent. Dusty followed me closely and tried to grab my waist but I swatted her hands away.

"Tsk tsk tsk," I said walking toward the group that was getting ready for the hike.

Ivan gave us a stern look and said, "somebody's late."

"I apologize," I said.

"Yeah sorry dude," Dusty said.

Ivan smiled and said, "that's okay I hope it was worth it."

Dusty smirked and I smiled at the memory of the mind-blowing orgasm.

"Well," Ivan said, "get with your partner and get ready for the hike. Stay with your partner at all times and do not separate from the group there's quite the wild animals in these mountains. They won't get near a big group of people so stay with the group."

Dusty and I nodded and grabbed each other's hand. It wasn't Dusty's style but she sensed my fear. Some of the other group members looked at us curiously. Some of them looked uncomfortable, some of them looked indifferent, and some of them looked downright horny.

"You see those five guys right there?" Dusty whispered in my ear, "they're addicted to sex."

"That explains their looks," I said.

"Those ones that look disgusted," Dusty said, "they are addicted to money like me, but the majority of them are super Christian and Catholic."

"Isn't it supposed to be opposite? I thought those religions were anti-greed," I said.

"Not all people use religion as a spiritual outlet, those people use it to soak money out of people," Dusty said, "they should be going to jail not me. But whatever."

"Are you Christian?" I asked.

"No," Dusty said, "I'm agnostic."

"Oh, so you believe in a higher being," I said.

"Yes, what about you?" Dusty asked.

"I believed in God but when Dy…someone broke my heart, I just kinda stopped," I said.

"I should kick her ass," Dusty commented.

I laughed and wiped a tear that escaped my eye. Dusty wiped it away slowly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You can be so tender," I commented.

"Hey, you wanna fuck with these people?" Dusty said.

"What like a prank?" Helena said.

"Yeah," Dusty said happily.

"Okay, what are we gonna do?" Helena said.

"Let's walk up in the front," Dusty said guiding me through the group to the front. I could have sworn one of the pervs tried to grab my ass but I'm sure Dusty would have cut his balls off if he had. We both noticed the dirty looks from the religious people and Dusty smirked widely.

We walked ahead of the group hand in hand hearing the dirty comments from behind us.

Someone said, "God-haters."

And someone else said, "look at that ass."

I wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up but Dusty's tug on my hand told me to be patient. Finally Ivan told everyone to take a rest and I saw a broad smile on Dusty's rugged face.

I felt the rush of excitement as Dusty tugged my arm and pressed me against a tree. Her lips crashed against mine and I heard a collective gasp from the group.

We heard the sexually frustrated groans and the gasps and comments from the greedy religious people-contradicting isn't it? I was aware of Ivan's eyes on us and if I looked I'd bet he was laughing at our antics.

"Guys, control," Ivan warned, but he was probably talking to the pervs.

"You guys are going to hell!" Someone yelled venomously.

I couldn't stop the loud laugh that escaped from my throat and Dusty joined me in laughter as we turned to look at the perp who had condemned us.

"_I'm_ going to hell?" I said sarcastically, "at least I don't steal from innocent people and pretend it's in the name of God. I will go to Hell happily if it means that I've had a happy and fulfilling life. Are you fulfilled you bitter bitch?" With those words I grabbed Dusty's hand and walked ahead of the group. The area was completely silent and even Ivan was looking at me in surprise.

"Nicely put," Dusty said proudly.

"Yeah, maybe I should have fought for my happiness from the beginning, and maybe I wouldn't have gotten hurt…"

….

Tasha:

My eyes fluttered open and I immediately squinted as the sunlight streamed through the window and beamed directly into my eyes. "Fuck," I muttered looking towards Alice who was deep in sleep. Her hair was disheveled and all over her face and her eyes were closed peacefully. She looked so damn beautiful. I sat up very slowly as to not wake her and climbed off of the bed. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen. I walked to the coffee maker lazily and turned it on. Alice always left it set up the night before so we could just press the button. I dragged my feet into the bathroom and went to the toilet. After finishing my necessities I walked to the sink and turned on the water. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and walked back into the kitchen. I left my coffee black and sipped it slowly walking into the living room.

I tripped over one of Alice's heels and some of my coffee spilled onto the floor and onto some of the books in Alice's library. "Shit," I muttered setting my coffee down on the table and walking back into the kitchen. I grabbed the towel and walked back to the spill. I cleaned the spill and pulled out the book that had coffee on it. Suddenly the library case shifted to the side and I noticed there was something behind it.

"Alice has a fucking secret passage way?" I said pushing the library case out. It wasn't a secret passage way but a small little alter that fit perfectly in between the library case and the wall. There was pictures of Dana, whom I recognized because Alice had a single picture of the two of them together in her office, and I often caught her staring at it. In the middle of the small wall of pictures was a small lotion bottle set on top of a DVD. I opened the lotion container slowly and I saw what looked like ashes. I gasped and closed the container quickly.

"She kept ashes?" I whispered, "oh my God." I felt tears welling in my eyes and tentatively picked up the DVD. I moved over to the DVD player and put the disc in. I turned on the TV and lowered the volume before pressing play.

The video started with Alice sitting on a bed in some red lacy panties and bra. Not her bed, but someone else's bed.

"This is just another experiment," Alice said looking directly into the camera, "this is the only thing we haven't tried and the only thing _I haven't tried. I'm pretty excited, so…"_

_She stopped talking when the door opened and the slender figure of Dana entered the room. She was standing in front of Alice tentatively in some white cotton panties and bra. _

_Alice looked at Dana and licked her lips, then stood up._

_Alice had way shorter hair back then and it was a bright blonde color. Dana's brown wavy hair was loose accentuating her beautiful face. She definitely looked different then in her pictures. There seemed to be some emotional turmoil going on inside of her, but Alice was completely unaware. How is it that Alice can tell when something is wrong with Tina and with Shane and with Helena and even with Bette, who hid her emotions more than even me, but she doesn't notice that there's something wrong with Dana? _

_Maybe she did know but she pretended to not know because she was scared. When Dana averted her gaze away from Alice I noticed that my supposition was right. She looked at Dana longingly, her love obvious from a mile away, and I saw the fear. I wonder if she looks at me like that. Dana turned her head and looked right into Alice's eyes as if trying to tell her something. Alice obviously didn't want to listen. She lunged forward and crashed her lips against Dana's. I saw the tears rolling down Dana's eyes as she shut them harshly._

_Then Alice moved her lips down to Dana's throat and Dana threw her head back with a moan. I saw her wipe away the tears and mouth out the words, "I'm sorry."_

_Alice's hands wrapped slowly around Dana's waist and went up to unclasp her bra. Dana returned the action and they let the garments fall to the floor slowly. Now Dana took charge, pushing Alice down onto the bed and climbing on top of her. Their breasts were pressed against each other roughly as Dana smashed her lips against Alice's. I saw Dana's hand disappear into the waistline of Alice's panties and Alice's back arched off the bed._

"_Fffuck! Dana! Yesss!" she exclaimed._

_Dana didn't say a word, she only smiled and lowered her face to Alice's breasts and took a taut nipple into her mouth. Alice let out another moan and slid her hand in between them. She slipped it into Dana's panties and Dana released Alice's nipple with a loud pop to release a loud moan._

"_Ooo yeah," Dana whispered._

_They weren't frantic, they weren't anxious. There wasn't pure lust in their eyes when they looked at each other, there was a deep rooted love. They weren't fucking, they were making love. They both stopped their actions and slipped off their panties, their breathing had picked up substantially. The desperation had settled in but the passion had increased. Throwing the panties far off in the room, Dana turned around backed up until Alice's face was in between her thighs. Alice just looked up at Dana's sex hungrily and said, "God, you're so beautiful."_

"_S-so are you," Dana said unable to contain a tear that slipped down her face._

_She lowered herself down, latching her lips onto Alice's clit concurrently with Alice who grabbed Dana's ass firmly and held her in position. The room filled up with sucking sounds and loud moans and groans. It was Dana who unraveled first. Her head shot up, unable to continue the oral pleasure because of the scream that ripped from her chest. She let out a scream and slammed her fingers inside of Alice roughly taking her with her. They both trembled for what seemed like ten minutes then collapsed on each other with Dana's head resting on Alice's thigh._

"_Dana," Alice said breathlessly, "I love you."_

_Dana rolled off with a sad expression on her face. She walked up to the camera and shut it off. The screen went blue. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't help but let out a sob. Then the screen changed and Dana's face was on the screen again. I sat up as I listened. Dana was sitting in front of the camera dressed in a tennis outfit, and Alice was sleeping peacefully on the bed behind her. She looked much like I just left her this morning. _

"_Alice," Dana said letting her tears fall, "I'm so sorry. I love you so much but I love Lara too and it's not fair to you. You deserve better. I'm going to practice right now and I'm going to break the news the you tonight. I hope you will remember last night and know that I do love you And it's because I love you that I'm leaving you. I hope you can forgive me one day. Please understand my decision Alice. I have a feeling we're gonna end out together sometime in the future, we got a long life ahead of us, but I don't expect you to wait. Goodbye Alice."_

_I watched the screen go blue again and I was in complete awe. The tears were streaming down my face and my jaw was dropped in complete shock._

"_I didn't see that until after she died," I heard Alice's voice say. I jumped up from the couch and wiped my tears abruptly._

"_God, Alice," I said unable to form the right sentence._

"_Tasha," Alice explained, "I only kept that because it was my last night of love with her."_

"_No, you kept it because you've never stopped loving her! For God sake, you have her ashes in a lotion container!" I cried._

"_It's just an alter, Tasha," Alice said, "I love you."_

"_Alice," I said calmly, "I'm not doubting your love for me."_

"_Your not? So why are you mad about the alter?"_

"_I'm not mad about the alter," I said, "Alice, I saw the way you looked at her in that video and the way she looked at you. I can see the turmoil in her soul, torn between two loves. I'm just another Dana, the only difference is that she chose the other lover and I chose you."_

"_Are you saying you regret that?" Alice said, her voice cracking as tears slid down her cheeks._

"_No, NO!" I said walking to her and wiping the tears from her eyes, "You are the only one for me. But you don't look at me like you looked at Dana."_

"_What?"_

"_Alice, I know you love me," I said, "but your love for me doesn't compare to your love for Dana and you will always feel like there's a piece of you missing. I'm the closest thing to that completeness you think you'll ever get and I don't wanna be the closest thing, I wanna be THE THING."_

"_Tasha…"_

"_Let me finish," I interrupted gently, "I can't match up to Dana and I think there is someone out there for you who can give you that completeness." I went to the door breaking out of Alice's grip on my arm, "I love you Alice. You are the only woman who has ever made me feel like this and you do complete me. I just wish I could do the same for you."_

_I opened the door and left the apartment using all my willpower to not run back to Alice when she let out a loud cry and called my name, "Tasha! Don't leave me like Dana did! Don't leave me…."_


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the L word or any of its characters**

Bette:

"Hmm, that is a very big decision," Will said looking from me to Tina.

"Is this trust issue gonna have an affect on that decision?" Tina said.

"No, I don't think so," Will said, "you two are very good mothers to your daughter and taking in a child who's going to be abandoned by his father will only serve to build the trust between you two."

"So you think we should adopt Max's baby?" I said.

"I cannot tell if that decision is right or wrong," Will said, "but I can tell you that you were going to adopt a child anyways. Just adopting your friend's child makes the child more special to you."

"He's right, I am kind of inclined to adopt Max's baby," Tina said.

"But what if Max changes his mind and decides to keep the baby?" I said, "then we'll have gotten all our hopes up only to have them come crashing down."

"And then you two will pull through together and get back in business with the adoption agencies," Will said.

"We have been through a lot Bette, if this works out it could mean the key to our happiness at last," Tina said.

"Okay, let me talk to Max though, is that okay?" I asked.

"Of course Bette," Tina agreed.

"So now that brings the issue of Alice's movie," I said.

"Okay, so this issue, you say it would involve putting Tina's new job and the move to New York on hold for six months?" Will asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"And what's the problem with that?"

"I want to get out of this fucking city," I said.

"Honestly I can wait, I would love nothing more than to produce one of my best friend's movies," Tina said.

"Why are you so adamant about leaving Bette?" Will instigated.

Oh this guy seriously needs to get punched because now Tina's looking at me curiously and now there's no way out of answering this question. "I want to leave this city because I'm tired of everyone getting up in our business…"

"You mean Jenny's compromising video?" Will said.

No he deserves a kick to the balls, that hurts more than a sock in the face. "Yes, that," I said with difficulty, "and also the fact that Kelly is still making passes at me…"

"She is?" Tina said quite surprised.

Crap! I forgot to mention that, I hope Will doesn't…"Why didn't you tell Tina about Kelly's passes?" Will said.

You fucking bastard.

"Yeah why?" Tina said.

"I didn't think it was important, I just want to get away from her," I said.

"What you don't think you can control yourself?" Tina said angrily.

"Now, now, Tina," Will said calmly, "don't jump to conclusions. I think she means she doesn't wanna hurt Kelly and ruin her business or hurt you and ruin her life."

"Yes that's exactly right!" I agreed. Finally he's on my side!

"Is there any other reasons you want to leave L.A?" Will said.

Damn him. "Well, I keep running into Jodi everywhere and I…I still feel bad about hurting her," I admitted.

"I feel bad about that too," Tina said, "that's understandable."

"But the other two reasons she has for wanting to move away aren't?" Will asked.

"I don't know, I guess I understand the reason she doesn't wanna leave Kelly, but the other reason, I mean no one else is in our business, Jenny's dead, so doesn't have to worry."

"Whoa, hold on," I said, "I am not happy about Jenny's death!"

"I never said that!" Tina said.

"Whoa whoa," Will assuaged standing up, "Bette, this is part of your trust issue now. You think everyone is out to hurt you, you've even mentioned that you think it from even your own sister."

"I would never hurt you," Tina said softly.

I averted my tear-filled eyes as memories of that horrible night filled my mind. "There's a reason for that," I said softly.

"A reason for your ability to trust that Tina or anybody else, will hurt you?" Will said.

"Yes."

"There is?" Tina said.

"That's the only thing you don't know about me," I said.

I could tell Tina was uncomfortable with the fact that she didn't know everything about me, but she gave me a warm smile. Leave it to Tina to think of me instead of herself. How can I think she would ever hurt me? How can I not when…

"Bette?" Will called.

"Hmm," I said.

"You okay?"

Tears spilled out of my eyes and dropped my face into my hands. I felt Tina's hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently. "I think we've had enough for today," Tina said.

"Sure thing," Will said.

"Come on baby, let's go…"

"No," I said sitting up, "look Tina, do you want to do Alice's movie?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Then we stay."

"But Bette…"

"Tina," I said, "I wanna make you happy. We have to stay here two months for Max's baby anyways. You do Alice's movie, and I can start getting things ready for the wedding."

"What?" Tina said in surprise. We hadn't talked about wedding arrangements since I proposed to her.

"Well, I know you would be happier if our friends were involved in our wedding," I said, "just not Helena. I wanna pay for it."

"Bette," Tina said breathlessly, "I…You…I love you!" She stood up and pressed her lips against mine.

"Very good, Bette," Will said putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, I normally hated when men touched me, but I was okay with Will's touch. "You have made a big step in the trust process."

"Thank you," I said with a weak smile.

"Now, go," Will said, "you've had enough for the week. When your ready, tell Tina what she doesn't know. I think it will fix this relationship."

"Really?" I said.

"That easy?"

"It's a burden in your heart," Will said, "from what you've told me, all your friends seem to consider Tina's feelings but never yours. Tina is the only one that considered your feelings, even when she was mad at you."

"So your saying that our problem is not Tina's emotions, they're mine?" I said.

"It's never been about Tina's emotions," Will said, "when you cheated on Tina, whose emotions were out of control?"

"Mine," I said, "but what about the whole 'I wanna be straight' thing, Tina went through?"

"That had to be me!" Tina agreed.

"No," Will said, "you were emotionally detached from her because you were jobless and your roles had reversed. When you felt the lonliness and you needed Tina, she had already started having doubts. But that doesn't mean it was your fault."

"It sure sounds like it was," I said sadly.

"It wasn't!" Tina and Will said at the same time.

I sighed and said, "Tina's always had control of her emotions. She's stronger than me. I'm strong on the outside, and people think I'm a brick, but on the inside, it's like a fucking hurricane."

"Bette, I'm not that strong," Tina said embracing me in her loving arms, "don't you understand we hold each other up. Whenever we part we fall. The miscarriage parted us and you fell into the arms of Candace. Your lack of job parted us and I fell into the arms of Henry, which grosses me out when I think about it."

"Then you both hit rock bottom together," Will said, "that's why you got back together behind Jodi's back."

A spark of understanding ignited in my soul. As much as it pained me to have to bring up those terrible memories that affected every aspect of my life, I needed to tell Tina. Only Kit knowing wasn't enough comfort in my heart….

….

Shane:

"Shane?" Alice called knocking on the door frantically.

I ran to the door having just woke up with a massive hangover and opened the door. Alice, who looked like a crying mess, ran into the house and wrapped her arms around me.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked tenderly.

"Shane, Tasha left me!" Alice cried.

I led her to the sofa and said, "I thought you fixed the issue with Jamie, what happened?"

"It's not about Jamie."

"So what happened?"

"She saw a sex tape of me and Dana," I said.

"A fucking sex tape? Are you serious Alice?" I said in surprise, "I knew you and Dana were kinky as fuck, but really? Dana was a pro tennis player, didn't she know how dangerous it was for to make a sex tape."

"It wasn't like that Shane, we weren't just fucking for fun," Alice said.

"Look, Tasha understands how you felt about Dana, if you were making love in the video, she wouldn't have left, I just know it," I said.

"She didn't leave me because of the tape," Alice said, "she left me because she saw how much I loved Dana and said that I could never love her that way and that with her I would never be complete like I was when I was with Dana."

I was in shock at her words. Tasha left Alice for the same reasons I left Carmen. I felt that I couldn't be faithful to her and I thought she deserved better. Tasha felt Alice wasn't complete with her and thinks she could find someone who can make her feel complete.

"Shane, this morning, while I was at the Planet, she and Papi went to the apartment and packed all of Tasha's things and took the video," Alice said.

"She took the video?"

"I have to find her," Alice said.

"What for? The video or her?"

"Her!" Alice cried breaking down into tears, "I love her."

"Alice," I said with a sigh, "it's not fair for you to give her only part of your heart when she's giving you her whole entire heart."

"So what are you saying? Just forget about Dana?" Alice said.

"No," I said, "you just take Dana out of that part of your heart. Love and cherish her as your best friend and leave in that part of your heart. The part of your heart that loves with intensity should belong to Tasha, and only Tasha."

"Just like your belongs to Carmen?" Alice said.

I hesitated a moment and said, "yes, just like mine belongs to Carmen." Alice's eyes look past me for a minute then they pierced directly into mine for elaboration. I sighed deeply and said, "I loved Carmen the moment I met her. I purposely didn't want a good relationship with her because I didn't want to hurt her, and when I was considering actually committing to her, Jenny fell for her. Why did she have to do that? I loved Jenny so much, and I knew that Carmen would have been perfect for her even though it was fucking tearing me apart."

"But then Jenny showed how much she loved you by breaking up with Carmen so you could be with her," Alice said.

"It was the moment I thought my life was perfect," I said, "then Dana died and I got scared, so I proposed. Why the fuck did my dad steal Helena's money and leave with that other woman? I wish I would have never run into him, then I would have married Carmen. I would actually be happy! Maybe, just maybe, Jenny would still be alive." Tears spilled out of my eyes and I broke into sobs. Alice's comforting arms wrapped around my shoulders and cried onto her shoulder. When I felt the soft touch of a third hand I jumped up and saw Carmen sitting next to me on the couch.

"Hey," she said softly, looking down sadly.

"C-Carmen?" I said, "how long have you been here?"

"The whole time," answered Max who walked to the front door and walking out of the house.

Alice stood up and gave me a knowing smile, "I think you two need to talk."

She headed toward the door and I called out, "Alice."

"Yeah?" she said stopping in front of the door and turning to look at me.

"Fight for her," I said, "don't lose her because I know how much it hurts. You know what you need to do first. Do it then go get her."

Alice smiled and nodded as she opened the front door and locked it before shutting it behind her. I looked at Carmen tentatively before saying, "I love you."

Carmen looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and she leaned forward pressing her lips against mine. A reaction burned within me and I wrapped my arms around her neck as I deepened the kiss. She let out a small moan as my tongue went past her lips but then she broke the kiss abruptly.

"Wait, wait," she said, "too fast."

"You're right, anything that starts in chaos, ends in chaos," I said taking a deep breath to control myself.

"Like us," Carmen said.

My head dropped and with a sigh I said, "like us."

"But, if we don't start in chaos the second time around…"

"We won't end in chaos," I said lifting up my head as hope filled my heart, "are you saying…"

"Yes Shane," Carmen said, "I want to give us another chance."

"Oh my God!" I said jumping up, "Carmen, I swear, I'm gonna do things right, I'm gonna…"

"Shane," she interrupted with a laugh, "calm down. Let's just take things slow before making promises we can't necessarily keep."

I sat down instantly too excited to stop smiling, but serious enough to listen to what she had to say. "I wanna move into Jenny's room," Carmen said.

"What?" I said in surprise.

"Look, things won't change, I'm just another roommate okay? I just don't wanna live off my mom anymore and I don't want some random stranger taking the room. Plus I know you and Max are struggling to pay the rent without Jenny, and with Max leaving in two months…"

"Sounds good to me," I said excitedly.

"I'm glad you agree," Carmen said, "I think we should talk tonight, talk about everything."

"That's always a good start," I said.

"You know, I think Jenny has always loved you," Carmen said.

"No, no way! That was a recent discovery," I said.

"No, don't you remember what happened on the cruise?"

"You mean, when the three of us were dancing and she kissed you then moved so we could kiss, then implied that she wanted to do a threeway?" I said, "she didn't love me then, she just wanted to see our connection to prove her point that you and I loved each other."

"No, not that," Carmen said, "don't you remember Shane?" There was a smile on her face and I gave her an odd look.

"Remember what?"

"The last night in the sea," Carmen said disbelievingly, "we agreed to remember it fondly."

"What the fuck? How wasted did I get? I don't remember that night at all!" I said honestly.

"Okay are you fucking with me?" Carmen said laughing in surprise.

"No I'm not I swear," I said smiling.

"Okay, well we were partying and you were wasted and getting down with this random girl," Carmen said, "and Jenny and I noticed that you couldn't even walk in a straight line, so we grabbed you and went to our room. I was pretty wasted too but not as much as you. Jenny was the only one who was sober. So we put you in the bed and you knocked out like right away. So I said I was going to knock out too but Jenny had other plans and she started to get frisky with me. I was too drunk to really care that your were passed out right in front of us. We had gotten pretty hot and heavy when you woke up…"

"Oh. My. God!" I said my eyes widening, "I thought that was a dream!"

"It wasn't! You just took off your shirt and kissed Jenny then you kissed me and then it started to get intense," Carmen said smiling at the memory. She shook her head and averted her eyes with a blush on her face. It had obviously turned her on. I smiled and let the memory of that night fill my mind:

"_Shane," Jenny said, "you woke up! Yay! Join us!"_

"_Jenny?" Carmen cried, "what?"_

_Shane licked her lips as she observed the two topless women on top of each other looking at her in surprise. Carmen looked quite nervous and Jenny looked excited. Her intentions were uncertain at this point. What is it that she wanted here? Did she want to test Shane and Carmen to see if they loved each other? Or did she just want a piece of Shane? Shane asked herself these questions as her pupils darkened in lust._

"_Come on, Shane," Jenny invited rubbing her foot against Shane's thigh, "Come and fuck us!"_

_It occurred to Shane that she was wasted and Carmen was pretty shit-faced too, but Jenny was completely sober, so if Jenny really wanted this, she wasn't impaired in any way. She looked over to Carmen who was eying Jenny in surprise but the desire for Shane was evident from a mile away._

_Jenny smirked slightly as she slid her hand into Carmen's panties making the woman arch her back and moan aloud. "She's wet for you too," Jenny said huskily._

_Shane lost it. With a moan she tugged off her shirt and lunged at Jenny. She slammed her lips against Jenny's and Jenny let out a low moan. Through their peripheral vision they could see Carmen's eyes glazing over with lust as she watched them kiss. Jenny grunted and Shane felt her muscles flexing and Carmen let out a moan._

"_Fffuck, J-Jenny!" Carmen moaned arching her. Shane figured Jenny's finger had entered her by this point. With a groan she lunged at Carmen and crashed her lips against Carmen's. She moaned into her mouth as Jenny got up to her knees to better work her fingers._

"_Let's make her come Shane," Jenny said grabbing Shane's ear between her teeth._

_Shane moaned and said, "take off her panties."_

_Jenny smirked at her success and stopped her ministrations to slip Carmen's panties off. Then before Shane could do anything, Jenny was unbuttoning Shane's jeans. "You have too much clothes," Jenny moaned. She slipped down her jeans and panties at the same time and Carmen sat up instantly latching her mouth onto Shane's clit._

"_Ahhh! Fuck!" Shane moaned in surprise._

"_Oh yeah," Jenny moaned bending down and licking Carmen's slit teasingly then latching onto her clit._

"_Mmmm," Carmen moaned loudly sending vibrations into Shane._

_Carmen's body started shaking as her orgasm approached and in fear of cumming without Shane, she started sucking more ferociously and pressed a finger inside of Shane. Shane was at the point of screaming but instead let out muffled moans and yelps, she was having a hard time staying balanced. Then Carmen couldn't couldn't control her hand anymore because Jenny had hit the perfect spot._

"_I got it," Jenny murmured against pressing her finger inside of Shane. Then when Carmen let out her scream of ecstasy Jenny's finger slammed against Shane's G-spot and she came crumbling down with her._

_The both collapsed, panting violently as Jenny laid back on the bed fully satisfied with herself. Shane recovered first sitting up and looking at Carmen who sat up groggily. _

"_Did she just make us both cum at the same time?" Shane slurred, still too drunk to connect the pieces._

"_Yeah," Carmen responded, not as slurred but still slurred._

_They looked back at Jenny who looked quite satisfied with herself. "I haven't done that since Marina," she said with a giggle._

_Shane and Carmen looked at each other then moved towards Jenny._

"_Your turn," Carmen said pulling down Jenny's underwear. _

_Shane smirked and said, "I'm better than Marina." She leaned down and took Jenny's throbbing nub into her mouth. _

"_Fuck," Jenny moaned arching her back. She let out a scream when she felt Carmen's lips on her nipple and her finger at her wet entrance._

_Shane grabbed Carmen's hand and pushed her fingers inside of Jenny. She guided her directly to Jenny's G spot as she continued to suck greedily. Carmen kept the rhythm fast and Shane didn't relent until Jenny let out an ear-curling scream and her body shook out of control._

"_Holy shit," she said breathing._

"_That's what you get," Shane said sleep starting to overtake her._

"_Let's remember this fondly," Carmen said smiling, "best orgasm ever."_

"_Hell yeah," Jenny agreed, "I just hope you guys remember tomorrow morning."_

I can't believe I forgot that. I can tell Carmen remembered the event as well because she looked quite hot and bothered. "Why did you remind me?" I said, "I slept with Jenny thinking I hadn't done it before!"

"Hey I didn't remember until a few months ago when I was drunk with my cousins," Carmen said, "we were broken up by then."

"Fuck," I said, "okay so maybe she always did love me."

"I don't blame her," Carmen said.

Our eyes met then we both looked away abruptly and Carmen stood up. "I think it's time for me to go home," Carmen said, "I'll start moving in tomorrow." She went to the door and opened it saying "good night, Shane."

"Good night…"

…...

Tina:

Today's session with Will was insane! Poor Bette suffered so much. I told her it would be best to relax the rest of the day before telling our friends the decision. They didn't even know about our engagement yet, only Kit knew, and she did a good job of keeping it to herself. Kit had taken Angie for the night saying she and her boyfriend wanted to take her to San Diego Zoo tomorrow. I'm glad for it because Bette needs to relax. I don't want her to worry about anything. Whatever happened to her, I'm sure it was horrible if she never told anyone.

I took the cup of water and aspirin and heading to the bed room where Bette was lying on the bed with her hands on her head. It was insanely hot and she was lying in a bra and boy shorts. I was wearing a boy shorts with a loose tank top but I was tempted to take the shirt off too.

"Here baby, that should help with the headache," I said handing her the water and aspirin.

She groaned and sat up taking the cup and popping the pills into her mouth. She downed the water and swallowed the pills, then set the empty cup on the dresser.

"It's fucking hot," Bette whined.

"I know," I said waving my arms in front of her face, trying to fan her, "I turned on the AC but it's not enough."

"You don't need to fan me down Tina," Bette said laughing.

I laughed and said, "of course I do! You're my queen."

"Oh shut up," Bette said blushing. It was very rare for Bette to blush so I always enjoyed the times that she did.

"Okay baby, get some rest," I said leaning down and kissing her tenderly on the lips.

I pecked her gently and pulled away but her hand on the back of my head held me in place and her lips pressed harder against mine. She moaned slightly into my mouth and whispered, "I love you."

There were hot tears rolling down her face and I reacted immediately. "Baby!" I cried wiping her tears and wrapping my arms around her, "I love you too."

"Tina," Bette said, "I wanna tell you."

I parted from her and said, "are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered scooting over so I could sit next to her. I settled on the bed and looked at her and she took several deep breaths in preparations.

"Do you know why I've never told you or any of our friends my coming out story?" Bette started.

"Hmm," I said remembering that when we came back from the trip and told her all about it, she refused to share her story, "yeah, I don't know why you didn't."

"That's because I don't have one," Bette said, "I don't know when I turned into a lesbian. Not like Shane who knew when she was six. I didn't know when it happened. I was a very conservative girl, following my father's morals. My first romance occurred when I was around 15 years old. I had a boyfriend named Coleman."

"You were with a man?" I said in utter surprise.

"I don't know what I liked about him," Bette said, "I discovered later that it was the fact that he was feminine."

"Did you sleep with him?" I asked figuring she didn't.

"Yes."

My eyes widened in shock, "I thought you've never been with a man."

"Well, when he used to fuck me, I would imagine that it was the fingers of a beautiful female classmate or a supermodel," Bette said. "Coleman and I was into art like I was and one day we saw a beautiful sculpture of a man. Everything about him was perfect. Coleman got horny and we fucked. I noticed that his eyes were closed and he was doing the same thing I was."

"He was imagining hot girls in class or the sculpture?" I asked.

"The sculpture."

"So he was gay?"

"Sooo gay," Bette said.

"That qualifies as a coming out story," I said, "so you guys broke up I assume?"

"No," Bette said, "we lived in a very shady area of New York. A shady area where people liked the beat and murder gay people. Coleman was terrified and he had hooked up with me because they thought I was one of the hottest girls in school."

"Bet you were."

Bette smiled and said, "you could say I was Coleman's safety net and he was mine. With my father dealing with his divorce and with Kit's alcoholism and raising her son, he didn't have much time to watch over me. He expected me to take care of myself."

"He did to the very end," I said solemnly.

"Yeah," Bette said sadly, "well on that horrible night, Kit had come home completely wasted. She was a mess and my dad had kicked her out and disowned her. Kit sobered up pretty quick and started begging him and promising that she would change. When my dad said no, Kit ran out of the house in a rampage, I knew she would get hurt, so I followed her. It was dark on the streets and there was no sign of Kit anywhere. Then I heard some grunting and I thought it was Kit so I ran into a dark alley by myself."

"Oh God," I said anticipating the worst.

"I saw Coleman and another man in the midst of a passionate kiss," Bette continued, "Coleman freaked out thinking I was one of the homophobic freaks, but relaxed when he saw it was me. The guy he was with left us alone then, I don't know why he left. Coleman started telling me that he was in love with him and that his sister would be good for me. I laughed and agreed to go on a date with his boyfriend's sister. Someone heard us."

"One of the homophobic freaks?" I said tears filling my eyes as if I were there at that moment in time.

"Not one, three," Bette said, "two black guys and a white guy."

I gasped and said, "Oh God!"

"Tina, you're not gonna like what happens next, can you handle this?"

"Continue, I need to know what happens," I said.

Bette sighed and nodded, "the three guys flipped out. They started calling us faggots and pushing Coleman against the wall. He fought against them but he was outnumbered. I started yelling at them to stop and hitting one of the guys in the head. The white guy grabbed my hands and pinned me against the wall. I cried out for help and I felt his knee slam against my stomach. Coleman was trying to defend me but the two black guys started beating him up. I reached out to him but the white guy's hand slammed against my face. I fell to the floor and he climbed on top of me."

She paused when she noticed I was sobbing. She wiped the tears from my eyes and I said, "keep going. Tell me everything, don't leave anything out."

Bette took a deep breath and said, "I started screaming as he started ripping off my clothes. I heard Coleman let out this angry yell and I saw one of the black guys flying out and slamming against the wall. I heard his skull crack against the wall and he was unconscious and the other black went to help him. Then I felt the white guy's weight lifted off of me and Coleman had grabbed him by his blonde hair and slammed his face against his knee. Then he yelled at me to run. My body was in a state of shock and everything was spinning around me. All I could hear was 'Bette! Run! Get out of here, run!' I let Coleman's voice guide me and I stood up but I couldn't bring myself to run. Then I saw the other black guy look up to the white guy who was receiving a bad beating from Coleman, and he yelled out, 'Rony, Rony! Jason is dead! He's fucking dead!' I looked to the other black guy and I could help but cry. I had never seen a dead person before, then I heard a cry and I saw Coleman fall to the floor clutching his stomach. I only remember hearing the sound of my own voice screaming out Coleman's name as he fell to the floor bleeding and the white guy held the bloody knife in his hand. The other black got up at this point yelling frantically 'Oh my God! Oh my God! Rony, let's get the fuck out of here!' When Rony turned towards me with the knife in hand the other black guy freaked out and ran away. I heard Coleman's weak cry, 'Run Bette, run!' Then he fell to the floor and didn't move anymore. I just knew he was dead. I let out a ear-piercing scream and I started running. I heard Rony's feet behind me and I started to get frantic. I heard him yelling at me, 'I'm gonna get you faggot, I'm gonna show you how a real man does it and then I'm gonna kill you. And no one is gonna blame me because you're a filthy black lesbian and I'm an innocent white man.' I yelled frantically and kept on running. Then I felt him tackle me and I started fighting against him. He put the knife to the side of my head and cut me deeply with the knife. The world was spinning and I felt myself bleeding profusely. I felt him unbuckling my pants and I thought it was over for me. Then I heard a loud crack and I saw a foot kick Rony off of me. Rony's head was bleeding like a pool of blood and his eyes were wide open and unmoving. I felt a pain of hands on my shoulders and I panicked. Then I heard the familiar voice, 'Calm down baby girl, it's me!' I saw Kit and I broke down in tears. Rony and Coleman were dead and the black guy just had a concussion. He and the other black went to prison, and so did Kit for manslaughter."

My jaw was dropped so low I thought it would hit the bed. Bette looked at me expectantly waiting for my response. "Oh my God," I breathed unable to form any other sentence.

Bette wiped her tears and said, "it feels good to finally let that out."

"Baby," I cried wrapping my arms around Bette's neck and kissing her firmly on the lips. "I'm sorry, so so sorry."

"Sorry for what, babe?" Bette said hugging me tightly.

"For what happened to you, for wishing I could do something to help you forget, for being white, I don't know."

"No," Bette said kissing me on the lips, "you never, your hear me, never be sorry for being who you are! I love who you are. Every single thing."

"I love you," I said kissing her again.

She hummed softly enjoying the kiss. We lied down side by side on the bed and looked into each other's eyes. I moved a piece of hair off of her face and started caressing her hair. Bette turned her face toward the ceiling and moved her hair so that I could see a long scar that ran from just above her ear to just past the middle of her head, it almost reached her forehead but was always well hidden by her hair.

"That's where he cut me," she said softly.

I touched the scar tenderly and she flinched involuntarily. "Does it hurt?" I said softly.

"No, just never showed anyone before, not even Kit," Bette said, "I got more than 20 stitches but when my dad and Kit asked me to show them, I refused."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the harsh scar. I felt her tremble at the action and I looked into her eyes and said, "Bette, I trust you…"


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own the L word or any of its characters**

Bette:

Her lips kissed my scar again and I felt a wave of hotness all throughout my body. It was already more than 90 fucking degrees in this house and the AC was on, but here I was trembling uncontrollably. She climbed on top of me and looked deep into my eyes.

"I love you," she said. Then she bent down towards me ever so slowly. Her lips pressed against mine for a fleeting moment then she parted from me. I arched up trying to kiss her but she just ran her lips over mine and backed away. I moaned in frustration needed to feel her touch on me. I was trembling so much the bed was shaking. "Shh," she soothed running her soft white hands all over my caramel stomach. Her hand reached around to my back and she unclasped my bra and slid it off. I saw her stare at my breasts and I couldn't help but squirm and tremble.

She whispered out the word, "beautiful," before leaning down taking my nipple gently into her sweet mouth.

I arched my back with a loud, "ahhh."

My body was shaking non-stop and she didn't relent. I was a shuddering mess when she kissed down my stomach and slid her fingers into the waistband of my boy shorts and slid them down my legs along with my soaking underwear.

"Sss," she hissed softly, "so fucking wet."

"T…" I moaned my legs shaking and my hips lifting towards her involuntarily. She leaned down near my sex and blew cold air against my throbbing clit. "Ahh," I cried bucking my hips.

"Shh," Tina said caressing my stomach gently and letting her hand rest gently on my breast. It didn't help my trembling desire that her fingers were rolling my nipple in between them, I felt like I was hyperventilating. Then I saw Tina give me a small smirk before she leaned down and gave me one long lick from my wet entrance up to my throbbing clit.

"Fuck," I whispered out.

"Mmm," I heard Tina say. I looked down at her licking her lips then leaning down to take the small little nub into her mouth. She sucked greedily never stopping the movement of her hand on my nipple. I felt her free hand rubbing my thighs softly and my trembling had gotten to such an extreme it must have looked like I was thrashing. Then I felt the fingers of her free hand pressing against my entrance.

"Shhit," I moaned, "Tina."

When I felt two of her fingers enter me agonizingly slow I let out a loud moan that edged her on. She pumped her fingers into me slow but hard, slamming against my G spot every single time. Then my head snapped back and a wave of pleasure ran through my body. My body started spasming out of control and I let out a loud scream as I came so hard. The hardest I think I've ever come. Tina sat back to watch me with her fingers still pumping into me the same way. Trembles and chills kept on running down my spine until my body went limp and I was panting harshly.

She pulled out her fingers and brought them to my mouth slowly. I sucked them slowly, tasting myself on them, then she leaned down to press her lips against mine roughly. The way her tongue invaded my mouth showed me just how desperate she had gotten. She had just lost control. My hands moved down her back and lifted her tank top slowly. She assisted me eagerly pulling off her shirt and unclasping her bra quickly. I was breathless when I saw her beautiful, creamy breasts spill out. Then she moved her hands down her stomach enticingly slipping off her boy shorts and panties slowly, standing up to be able to take them off.

She looked at me seductively and I could do nothing but stare up at her dripping sex and lick my lips. She caught my gaze and slid down to the bed with her knees on either side of my face. I let out a whimper as she rolled her hips as if waving her sex right over my face. I let out a groan as my hands moved up to grab her thighs and pull her down to my face. My tongue immediately went to her clit and my fingers pushed into her entrance without warning or hesitation.

"Yes, Bette," she moaned. Hearing her say my name started to make me frantic and I started pumping my fingers into her fast and hard. I felt her tense up around my fingers and I looked up to see her face contorted in pleasure as she let out a loud scream and she trembled almost violently.

"Fuck!" Tina moaned before letting herself collapse to the side of me. "That was like one of the best orgasms ever," she said looking at me and tenderly caressing my hair.

I turned to look at her and said, "that was THE BEST orgasm I've ever had."

"I love you," she softly kissing my scar once more.

I grabbed the back of her head tenderly and pushed her down so our lips met passionately. "I love you too…"

….

Carmen:

I can't sleep. I started packing my bags and getting all my stuff ready to move into Jenny's room. I figure since I can't sleep I'll just start moving in to the place before my mom starts trying to convince me to stay. My hair was still damp from the cold shower I had to take. Even then it wasn't enough as I kept having flashbacks of that threesome. Jenny may have been a closet lesbian who kinda slammed face first into a woman, but she was a fast learner with a very skilled tongue. Not mention the number I did on Shane. Those memories alone had sent me into a frenzy and I had to release some tension so that I could relax. I had to do it twice too.

Now I'm finally all cleaned up and packing my bags. I'm surprised I didn't get sleepy after those orgasms but I guess the packing and moving in should do the trick. Shane should be sleeping so she shouldn't even notice me.

I grabbed my suitcases and headed out of the house making sure to shut off all the lights and close all the doors. I drove slowly toward Shane's house and parked in the garage. I noticed a light on at Bette and Tina's place, and I wondered what they could be doing up at this hour. All the lights in Shane's house were off and the light in Max's shed was off too, so they were probably sleeping.

I took out the key that Shane had given me before I left and I opened the door slowly. The living room was filled with blue light and I saw Shane lounging on the couch watching T.V.

"Carmen?" she said in surprise sitting up.

"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to move in," I explained walking into the house and towards Jenny's room.

"I couldn't sleep either, that's why I'm watching T.V," Shane said helping me carry one ofmy suitcases into the room.

"Thank you," I said sitting on Jenny's bed, "is it okay if I get a new bed?"

"What's wrong with Jenny's?"

"Shane, she slept on here," I said, "I've slept with her on it. That's just too many memories."

"Yeah, I guess I could relate," Shane said.

"I hope you'll help me with that," I said.

"Of course," Shane said, "so I had this idea."

She sat down next to me on the bed and awaited a response. "Yeah?" I said.

"I don't want us to take this relationship as a second chance, I want it to be like starting over, from scratch."

"Like going out on dates and stuff?" I inquired.

"And doing everything the right way," Shane said.

"Alright, I like the sound of that," I said with a smile.

"So, Carmen," Shane said tentatively, "will you go out on a date with me tomorrow night?"

I smiled at her timidness and said, "yes, I would love to..."

...

Max:

I can't believe I'm doing this while I'm seven months pregnant, but it can't wait until I push the baby out. I walked out of my truck and into the yard. I knew where the security cameras were and the map was a pretty accurate guide.

I got to the back door and knocked on it three times very slowly, she knows the code. I saw her running to the door in almost a panic, you could see her nervousness from a mile away. She opened the door and said frantically, "Max! Come in!"

"We can't waste time, Nikki!" I urged.

"I need to explain," she cried her tears spilling out of her eyes in a rush.

"Explain what?" I said, "you fucked up."

"Adele wanted to name herself as the writer of 'Lez Girls' as well as the director!" Nikki cried frantically, "Tina had turned in the negatives and Adele came over here and started telling me that she would take the full rights!"

"They're gonna think it was you," I said calmly.

"I punched her in the face that's all!" Nikki cried.

"Yeah and you won the case on the grounds of her trespassing and harassing you," I said, "but you know what I mean."

"I didn't kill Jenny!" Nikki cried.

"But now they're gonna work extra to hard to try to incriminate you," I said.

"How do you know?" Nikki said worriedly.

"I have an inside source," I said, "don't worry, she's waiting for us a few blocks down."

"Are you coming with us?" Nikki said looking into my eyes hopefully.

"No, I'm gonna give birth to my son here then meet up with you guys, my inside source needs me to send a message to someone before I catch up with you guys," I answered.

"I'm running away, Max," Nikki said, "isn't that gonna make me look more guilty?"

"I'm not sure you're completely innocent," I said narrowing my eyes.

"I didn't kill her!" Nikki cried.

"Maybe, I don't know."

"Shut the fuck up, Max, you're not so innocent yourself!" Nikki said, "the cops are harassing you now, but when you give birth and then disappear they will be on your ass too."

"Look you think I don't feel bed about what happened? I just don't know who killed Jenny, I don't even know if I'm innocent," I said, "I just know one of us is a murderer, and if you or my source is the murderer I just have to tread carefully."

"You think I could kill you?" Nikki said, the hurt evident in her voice.

"I'm not sure."

"What if your source did it?" Nikki said.

"Then be very careful, Nikki, you'll be traveling with her," I said.

"I don't feel safe without you Max, you've helped me get over all of this," Nikki said picking up the suitcase she had left next to the door.

"I'm not safe either," I said, "I saw you and I saw my source, then everything was a blur and next thing I know Jenny is dead in the pool."

Nikki looked at me and I saw the fear in her eyes, was she starting to doubt herself. "I-I d-didn't…" she trailed off.

"Let's go," I said grabbing her arm and leading her to my truck. We didn't talk to each other the whole car ride. We drove in silence until we reached the black car parked in a small alley. Nikki and I got out of the truck and went over to the car.

"Took you long enough," the voice from the car said. I saw Nikki tremble then hesitantly walk to the car. The door opened and my source came out.

"Dylan?" Nikki said in surprise.

"Hey," Dylan said softly, "you're up against the wall like me now?"

"Yes, but you wouldn't have been up the wall if you wouldn't have run," Nikki said.

"What happened was fucked up, you and I shouldn't have been at Bette and Tina's house," Dylan said.

"Dylan, you are the only one who knows exactly what happened that night," I said, "why won't you tell us?"

"You would believe me?" Dylan asked.

"Depends on what you said," Nikki said.

"I didn't kill Jenny," Dylan said, "I was mad at her and I was yelling on her but I didn't kill her."

"I don't trust you," Nikki said.

"Me neither," I added.

"You're not the only ones," Dylan said looking down sadly then back up at us, "I don't trust either one of you guys either."

"So, drive safe then," I said.

"You have my new number and we'll see you in TJ," Dylan said getting in the car.

Nikki looked at me before getting in the car and said, "I didn't kill her Max."

I nodded and she got in the car. I stood there until Dylan's car drove into the horizon. I really wish I remembered that horrible night. I really hope I didn't kill Jenny…

…...

Alice:

I knocked on the door frantically until Papi opened it and looked at me lazily.

"Alice," she said lazily.

"Papi, I need to find Tasha," I said desperately.

"What makes you think she's here?" Papi said defensively.

"You're her best friend and I know she didn't have anywhere else to go," I said.

"Okay, fine, she is staying here, but she's not here right now," Papi said.

"Where is she?" I said unable to hold back the tears.

"Wow, girl, relax won't you," Papi said.

"I can't! I need Tasha," I cried.

"You need Tasha? You would overlook everything?"

"Yes, YES!"

"What if I told you she went to Jamie's place and she's been there all night," Papi said.

I couldn't stop the tears that spilled out of my eyes and I felt my heart in my throat. "S-she is?" I croaked softly.

"She's hurtin' ya know? Would you overlook that?"

I thought about it and in my heart I knew that I would. If Dana had come back to me saying that she wanted to leave Lara for me, I would taken her back in an instant. "I would overlook it," I said.

"Hmm, well she's not at Jamie's house," Papi said.

"So then why did you say she was!" I said wiping my tears indignantly.

"I told you not to hurt my girl," Papi said.

"Papi please, I can't live without her," I cried.

Papi looked at me and let out a loud sigh, saying, "fine! She's on duty a few blocks down."

"I know which street she works, thanks Papi," I said turning to leave.

I felt Papi's hand on my arm and I turned to look at her. "Don't hurt her, Alice," Papi said firmly.

"I won't Papi," I promised. I walked to my car and drove off toward Tasha's post. I knew she would be in an alley with her speed radar waiting for someone to speed by. I drove fast down the street knowing that she would take the bait. I heard the loud sirens and saw the flashing lights, then I pulled over. I looked in the mirror and saw Tasha getting out of the car. I tensed up nervously as the flashlight illuminated me and she looked into the mirror.

"License and regis…" she trailed off when she saw me, "Alice."

"Tasha," I said looking at her in the eyes, "I can't live without you."

"Alice, we already talked about this," Tasha said.

"No, you talked about this, you didn't let me say anything," I said.

"I'm working Alice," Tasha said.

"So take me downtown, I don't care," I said.

"This is a dangerous street," Tasha said looking around.

"I'm not leaving until we talk," I said stubbornly.

"Look, there's nothing much to say, as long as part of you still loves Dana…"

"I don't love Dana like that anymore," I explained, "the part of my heart that still holds her is the one that remembers her as a best friend."

"So I complete you?" Tasha said disbelievingly.

"Yes, you do," I said.

"You're just saying that Alice, you don't look at me like you looked at her!"

"Tasha, when I gave Dana that look, did she see me give it to her?"

I saw Tasha's brow furrow in concentration and she said, "no."

"So how do you know I don't give you those looks when you aren't looking?" I said.

Tasha blinked, surprised by my tactic. "Do you?" she said unsure of herself.

"Yes, all the time," I said, "how can I prove to you that you complete me?"

Tasha looked at me and her gaze softened. "I don't know Alice."

"Look," I said pointing towards the back seat where Dana's alter was disassembled next to the lotion container, "I'm going to go up to the mountain where we threw Dana's ashes and I'm going to threw it all in. I'm gonna let her go."

"No, Alice don't…"

"I have to Tasha," I said opening the door of the car, "I need to let her go so I can dedicate my heart to you."

"Alice," Tasha said softly, "I love you."

"And I love you," I said leaning forward and pressing my lips against Tasha's softly.

She kissed me tentatively and said, "go home for now, and I'll go later so we can talk."

"I wanna let go of the alter though," I said.

"No, let's talk about it and if you still wanna go through with it, I'll go with you," Tasha said.

"Really? It would mean the world to me if you did," I said.

"Go home, we really have to talk in a better setting," Tasha said. A loud bang was heard and Tasha's hand immediately went to her weapon and she looked around. "Get in the car!" She ordered grabbing my arm and lowering me down.

I saw the speeding car from behind Tasha. The nose of a gun was sticking out and the man's intention was set on Tasha. I don't know what possessed me but I felt myself jump in front of Tasha and screamed my name and I heard the gunshot.

"Alice!" Tasha cried. I felt the pain shoot up through my back and the world started spinning around me. "Why did you do that?" I heard her voice say. It was starting to sound faint.

"B-because y-you comp-plete me," I heard myself say. I had no control over my words, they just spilled out of my mouth.

I heard Tasha's desperate cries and I heard her yell, "Alice! Don't close your eyes! Stay with me! Stay with me!"

Then the world around me faded into darkness…


	7. Chapter 7

Bette:

A loud knock on the door woke us up in a jolt.

"What the fuck?" I heard Tina say groggily.

We had only gone to sleep around half an hour ago because we just couldn't get enough of each other. I lost count of how many times we made each other come. The insistent knocking banging on the door harder and I sat up.

"Who the fuck is that at this hour?" I said standing up.

"Mmm, hold on," Tina said sitting up, "let me go with you."

"You don't have to," I said putting on my boy shorts and grabbing Tina's discarded tank top and slipped it on.

"No, if someone's here now it's important," Tina said slipping on her boy shorts, "and that shirt was mine."

"Well get another one," I said standing up with a grin.

Tina scoffed and stood up lazily. She dragged her feet to the drawer and grabbed another tank top.

"That's mine," I said with a chuckle.

"One for one," Tina said laughing, slipping on the shirt. We walked out of the room lazily and answered the door tentatively.

"Bette! Tina!" Shane yelled once the door was opened. She looked terribly panicked. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked anxious. I opened the door all the way and turned on the light.

"Shane, what's wrong?" I said worriedly.

"What's going on?" Tina said anxiously.

"Alice has been shot!" Shane said desperately, "we tried to call you but you didn't answer!"

"The phone is unplugged, sorry," I said, "where is Alice? Is she okay?"

"I don't know," Shane cried, "Tasha was crying hysterically, I could barely understand her. She said they're at the general hospital, Carmen is waiting for me outside, come on, we have to go!"

"Oh my God!" Tina said anxiously. This was the first time I turned to look at her, mostly because I was struggling with the news myself. She had tears streaming down her face and she was almost hyperventilating.

"Tina, Tina," I said grabbing her arms, "calm down, baby. Come on, let's get dressed and go to the hospital."

"O-okay," Tina said in between sobs walking towards the bedroom.

"We'll meet you there," I called back to Shane, "please, let Carmen drive okay, I don't want you driving."

Carmen walked into the house now, gently touching Shane on the shoulder. She extended her hand and Shane reluctantly gave her the car keys. She gave me a small nod and they walked out of the house slowly. I rushed into the room where Tina was desperately dressing.

"Tina, please baby, you have to relax, Alice is going to be okay," I said, "she is strong."

"That's what we said about Dana and look at what happened to her!" Tina cried.

"Baby," I said tenderly hugging her onto my chest. She cried into my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. When her sobs subsided I let her go and she went back to the closet. I had to hold in my own tears because I needed to be strong for Tina, but now I let them slide down my cheeks. I cried as I walked to the closet and grabbed a shirt and some jeans. I walked to the drawer and grabbed underwear then started changing. Tina, who had finished getting dressed, sat down next to me and watched me as I cried silently and got dressed. When I was done I stood up and grabbed the keys that were on the dresser still letting my tears fall.

She grabbed my arm and turned me around gently. Her soft hand wiped my tears gently and she placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I gave her a small smile and we walked out of the house. We drove in silence until we reached the hospital then we rushed in.

"Bette! Tina! Over here!" Carmen called.

We ran to her and asked at the same time, "how is she?"

"We don't know yet, they're prepping her for surgery," Carmen said.

"Where did they shoot her?" I asked.

"Who shot her?" Tina asked at the same time.

"Hey guys, don't badger her!" Shane said stepping in between us, "she was shot when she was talking to Tasha at her post in a drive by shooting. The guys had murdered someone just down the street and I guess when they saw Tasha, they thought she was going to arrest them and they shot at her. Alice jumped in the way and got shot in the back."

"Oh my God," Tina whimpered letting her tears fall again.

I pulled her into a hug letting my own tears fall, unable to be the brick she needed. "What do the doctors say?" I asked.

"He's coming right now," Shane said pointing to the doctor walking down the hall. He was a tall black man with small glasses and a serious expression on his face. He seemed familiar to me but I couldn't seem to pinpoint him. I kept on looking at him trying to will myself to figure out where I've seen this guy when I felt Tina's hand on my arm.

"Come on babe," she said giving me a curious look.

I shook my head out of its daze and I followed the girls to the approaching doctor. Tasha had been sitting on the floor crying into her lap the whole time next to Papi who was comforting her. When the doctor stopped in front of her, Tasha jumped up as if at attention and desperately said, "what! What! Is she okay!"

"Remain calm Ms. Williams," the doctor said softly, "she's about to be moved into the surgery room. I just wanted to explain to you what's about to happen."

"Will she be okay, Doctor?" Shane said.

The doctor hesitated and we all looked at him expectantly. With a deep sigh he responded, "the bullet is lodged in her spine and tangled in essential nerves."

I let out a shuddering cry as I understood what that meant, but everyone else didn't seem to understand. "W-what does that mean?" Shane said her voice cracking and her tears flowing.

"It means that there's very little chance she will survive the surgery and if she does she will probably be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of her life," the doctor said solemnly.

"Oh God," Tasha cried dropping her head on Papi's chest and she hugged her tenderly.

"B-but isn't there therapy or something for being able to walk again?" Carmen said holding Shane as Shane wasn't able to hold back her sobs any longer.

"Assuming she survives the surgery, she would be placed in therapy, but the process is long and tedious," the doctor said, "and there is no guarantee it will be a success."

"Please," Tasha cried grabbing the doctor's arm frantically, "save her, Doctor, please!"

"I will do my best Ms Williams," the doctor promised.

When he turned his head to the side I recognized him and I let out a loud gasp. Everyone turned towards me and all of the sudden I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Bette?" Tina said grabbing my arms as my legs wobbled.

The doctor came to my side and motioned for a nurse. "Ma'am are you okay?" he said grabbing my other arm on the other side of Tina.

"Bette! Baby?" Tina cried.

"She's having an anxiety attack," the doctor said, "Julie get the oxygen," he ordered.

The nurse standing next to him nodded and ran off to the nearest room. "Ms…" the doctor said.

"Porter," Tina responded.

"Ms. Porter, I want you to put your hands on your head," he said touching my arm softly.

I let out a yelp at his touch and squirmed away from him. When he heard my yell his eyes widened and he backed away from me stunned.

The nurse came back with the tank and stood next to the doctor. The doctor just remained there standing in shock as the nurse looked at him impatiently.

Tina looked from me to the doctor and whispered in my ear, "Bette, what's going on? Do you know him?"

I turned my head slowly, barely able to breathe, and gasped out, "he's one of the guys who attacked me."

Tina's eyes widened and she looked back to doctor. "Um, is there any way another doctor can perform the surgery?" Tina said loudly.

"What? Tina what the fuck are you talking about?" Tasha said frantically.

"He's a lesbian hater," Tina said as I struggled to breathe. The nurse gave him a shocked look as did the girls who stood there in a shocked silence.

The nurse approached me and gave me air from the tank as Tina stood up indignantly. "You are not the right doctor to perform surgery on my friend!" Tina said angrily her eyes welling up hot tears.

I've never seen Tina so aggressive. Not even when she found out about Candace was she this angry.

The doctor back away from us with tears in his eyes and said, "I'm a different person now."

I let out a scoff still hooked on to the oxygen. "Shh," the nurse assuaged.

"No, really," the doctor cried, "I did what I did because I was scared! I had these weird feelings for men and I didn't want to be gay. Those two guys were my friends and they hated gay people, they wanted me to prove that I wasn't gay! That's the only reason I went with them that night! I didn't know that they were gonna do that!"

"How do I know you will really want to save my girlfriend?" Tasha said angrily stepping in front of the doctor.

The doctor backed away, obviously intimidated by the strong woman, and said, "because I am a doctor, and I vowed to save lives not end them."

"Just like you almost killed my fiancé?" Tina snapped stepping forward and slapping the doctor square on his face.

At this point I didn't need the oxygen anymore and I stood up in surprise. I heard the collective gasp from everyone else and the doctor dropped his head in shame.

"Look," he said weakly, "I am gay okay? I was in the closet back then and I've regretted that night every day of my life. I want nothing more than your forgiveness." He looked at me square in the face and said, "please forgive me. Please let me operate on your friend, I am the best doctor in the area. I have the best chance of saving her."

Tina scoffed and walked away from him. I knew this was what she did when she didn't have her anger in check. She walked to stand next to me and looked at me. "I need to think," I said softly.

"I understand," the doctor said, "I wouldn't be surprised if you never forgive me. Will you let me perform this surgery?"

"That's up to Tasha," I said looking at the woman who's hands were balled into fists and her anger was indiscernible.

"Bette, do you think he should?" Tasha said with a growl.

"Ms," the nurse who had given me the oxygen said, "if anyone can save your friend, Doctor Mercer can."

I nodded at the woman then turned to Tasha and gave her a small nod. Tasha hesitated for a minute and nodded her head. The doctor nodded his head and said, "I will do everything in my power to save her."

We nodded as he walked down the hall and out of sight.

"What did he do to you?" Tasha said turning around worriedly.

"Nothing I wanna talk about," I responded.

I felt Tina's hand on my arm and I turned to plant a kiss on her lips. "Hey," Shane said making us break the kiss, "um, fiancé?"

"Shit," Tina said not realizing she had said it.

"It's okay they were gonna find out anyways," I said, "Shane, Tina and I are engaged…"

….

Alice:

The grass is so green. It feel so soft on my feet. The little strands feel like silk in between my toes. I've never felt anything like this. But where am I? I've never seen this place before. I walked along the path enjoying the feel of the grass and gasped when I saw the lake. I ran to it and sat along the edge, dunking my feet in the water. The water was so cool and I couldn't help but laugh in joy. I felt so at peace, so happy.

A soft voice calling my name, snapped me out of my reverie.

"What are you doing here, Al?" a familiar female voice said.

I turned my head and gasped when I saw here. "Dana," I breathed. She looked as beautiful as she always did. Her wavy brown hair was blowing in the light breeze and her blue eyes were shining so bright.

"What are you doing here, Al?" she repeated.

"I don't know where I am, Dana," I said, "is this a dream?"

"No, Alice, it's not a dream," Dana said touching my arm.

"Then where am I?" I said.

"Where am I?" Dana said.

"Dana, you are dead," I said. I gasped and my eyes widened as I realized where I was. "Oh my God! I'm dead! What! How did that happen?" I cried desperately.

"Do you remember what happened before you got here?" Dana said.

My brows furrowed in concentration as I tried to remember what happened, then my eyes widened as I remembered. "Oh my God," I cried, "I took a bullet for Tasha!"

"Yes, you love her a lot Alice, you died for her," Dana said.

"But I wanna be with her!" I cried, "I don't wanna die! Not yet!"

"I didn't wanna die either, Al," Dana said, "I wanted to be with you."

I broke into tears and cried, "Oh Dana, I know that. I just don't wanna die! I need to show Tasha how much I love her."

"You're not supposed to be here," Dana said smiling.

"What do you mean?"

"You have a choice," Dana said, "you could stay here with me, for all eternity. Or you can go to that door over there, and live."

I turned around and saw the black door that Dana was referring to, it hadn't been there before. "I choose that," I said standing up.

"Once you choose that you don't have that option again," Dana said, "if you come back, you won't have the choice."

"At least I got a second chance," I said without hesitation.

"You don't wanna stay here with me?" she said softly. I turned for a moment to see the tears that were in her eyes.

"You will always be in my heart Dana," I said, "but I love Tasha."

Dana smiled and wiped her tears. "Then go to her."

I smiled and walked to her. "Before I go," I said, "I wanna do something that I never got a chance to do before you died."

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her waist. I held her tightly as she returned the hug affectionately. "Goodbye, Dana," I said.

"Goodbye, Alice," she responded pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.

We parted as I felt a light touch on my arm. I turned and gasped saying, "Jenny!"

"Come on, Alice!" she urged with a small smile that I hadn't seen since I met her, "you're running out of time."

She offered her hand to me and I took it. She led me towards the door as I waved goodbye to Dana, who smiled and waved. I looked back to Jenny who had a bright smile on her face. The last time I saw that smile is when she first arrived in LA.

"What happened to you Jenny?" I said sadly as we arrived at the door, "you are so beautiful."

"I haven't felt this way in a long time," she said tears of joy filling her eyes, "I should have come here sooner."

"No Jenny," I said tenderly, "life without you is so hard. You left and I thought you stole my idea…"

"I didn't," she said quickly.

"I know," I said smiling, "but I wish you would have told me about the co-author sooner. Shane is taking it hard."

"I know," Jenny said solemnly, "but she looks much happier with Carmen. Make sure they get back together okay?"

"Before I go," I said opening the door, "who killed you, Jenny?"

"I don't know," Jenny responded, "I remember an argument but it was a bit shady. I only remember when my head hit the concrete, then I felt wet, then I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't bring myself to wake up to be able to breathe. Then I was here."

"You don't know who did it? Because that person should pay," I said.

"No," Jenny said smiling, "that person did me a favor."

I sighed and gave her a small smile, "I'm glad you got your happiness, Jenny. Goodbye."

"See you later," she said, "but way, way later." We hugged each other tightly then I walked into the door. It was dark, I couldn't seem to open my eyes, but I heard everything around me.

I heard a man's voice saying, "we almost got a pulse! Do it again! Clear!"

I heard a machine whirring and I felt an electric wave all throughout my body. Then I heard the insistent beeps of a machine and several sighs of relief. "We got her back!" the man said, I could hear the relief in his voice, "hurry, bring the bed pan for the bullet, we have to move quickly."

That was the last thing I heard before everything went silent, and I felt…nothing…

…..

Helena:

"It was so hot what you did today," Dusty said laughing.

We were inside of our tent eating our steak, which Ivan cooked himself. "What _you did was hot!" I said remembering the steamy kiss._

"_You've changed a lot Helena," Dusty said, "you were a little wimp in prison."_

"_Oh come on! There was a nasty bitch pressing a knife onto my throat! I was naked! You expected me to not be a wimp!" I defended._

"_I had no problem fighting her off," Dusty said with a smug smile._

"_That's cause you have those bulging muscles, that sexy, deep voice, that fucking amazing strength that I wish I can overtake so that I can dominate for once in bed!" I said a heat running through my body, "she was scared shitless!"_

"_So were you," Dusty said scooting closer to me nuzzling her face in my neck._

"_I was fucking terrified," I said throwing my head back, "but I don't know, when you saved me, then you had that bad dream, and you looked so…I don't know, but I couldn't help but kiss you."_

"_Then I went with it," Dusty said, "to be honest, I wanted to fuck you since you walked into the cell, but I thought you were straight."_

"_What! Ha! No way!" I said shaking my head in disgust._

"_I know that now," Dusty said, "I really, really know that now."_

"_Come on, Dusty, when are you gonna let me fuck you instead you fucking me all the time?" I said._

"_Hmm," Dusty said, "I don't know."_

"_Why won't you let me, huh?"_

"_Has to do with that dream," Dusty said._

"_Really?" I said sitting up straight. Dusty nodded and let out a deep sigh. "If I tell you how I ended up here," I said, "will you tell me the dream?"_

"_I don't trust people very easily," Dusty said, "I am a crook after all."_

"_I'm not."_

"_Bullshit!" Dusty said with a laugh, "you ended up in jail for stealing hundreds or thousands of dollars from your lover."_

"_She was prostituting me!" I argued, "she separated me from my friends and from my children. She used me and abused me, then didn't even let me keep the money I worked hard for."_

"_Okay, so maybe she deserved it," Dusty said with a chuckle, "I would have kicked her ass too."_

"_You can trust me, Dusty."_

"_Can you trust me?"_

"_There's some people I don't trust, and that's how I ended out here, but I feel like I can trust you."_

"_Hmm," Dusty said sitting up straight._

_She was about to say something when someone knocked on the tent. "Yeah?" I said a bit frustrated at the interruption._

"_Hey, Helena," Ivan's voice said, "someone's here to see you."_

"_At this hour?" I said._

"_Yeah, said he has a message from someone," Ivan said._

_My heart started to speed up. Could it be a message from Dylan? I don't wanna know anything about her! She broke my heart! I couldn't help but tremble in anxiety as I stood up._

"_I wanna go with you," Dusty said standing up next to me._

"_You don't have to," I said._

"_I just feel like I need to protect you," Dusty said._

_I smiled and nodded saying, "Thanks." Dusty followed me out of the tent where Ivan was waiting to walk us to the mysterious visitor. I saw the visitor sitting on the hood of his car waiting patiently._

"_Max?" I said in surprise._

"_Hey Helena," Max said jumping off the car gently, holding his pregnant belly the whole time._

"_What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?"_

"_Kit told me, and I need to give you a message as well as tell you some news they told me just a while ago."_

"_News?"_

"_Bad news."_

"_What happened?" I said worriedly._

"_Shane just called me," Max said, "Alice was shot tonight."_

"_Shot!" I cried my tears spilling out of my eyes instantly, "h-how, w-why, is she…"_

"_Calm down," Dusty whispered in my ear holding my arms gently._

"_Last I heard she was in a very dangerous surgery, but Ivan agreed to keep his phone on and we will inform you what happened," Max explained._

"_How did it happen?" I asked calming myself down, "she doesn't have enemies. She's my best friend! Who would want to hurt her?"_

"_She and Tasha were just at the wrong place at the wrong time," Max said, "Shane said these gangsters were doing a drive by and Alice took a bullet for Tasha." _

"_What?" I said in surprise._

"_Wow," Dusty said._

"_Is she gonna be okay?" I asked worriedly._

"_I don't know, Shane didn't tell me much."_

"_I hope they call Ivan soon," I said._

"_I'll go directly to the hospital from here," Max said, "I'll make sure to call. But I gotta give a message, that's why I'm here."_

"_Okay, I'm listening."_

"_Alone."_

_Ivan raised his hands and left. Dusty turned to leave but I grabbed her arm and said, "Dusty stays."_

"_It's better if you're alone," Max said._

"_No, Dusty stays."_

"_Fine."_

"_I don't wanna be any trouble," Dusty said._

"_No, I want you here," I said, "I trust you." _

_Max sighed deeply and said, "I have a message from Dylan."_

"_You've seen Dylan!" I said in surprise, "she's wanted by the police!"_

"_I didn't see here, I received a phone call."_

"_What did that bitch say?"_

"_That she didn't kill Jenny."_

"_I'm not so sure."_

"_Well she says that she meant what she said," Max said, "she said that she is really sorry for leading you on to steal your money and that it's not her intention anymore. She says she truly loves you even though she knew about the test you set up for her."_

"_She said all of that already and I still don't believe her," I said, "she hurt me deeply."_

"_I know," Max said, "I'm only the messenger. She made you fall in love with her then she used you and left. I know I wouldn't forgive Tom if he decided to come back."_

"_Even though he's the father of your baby?"_

"_I don't want this thing," Max said coldly._

"_Well, if Dylan calls you again, tell her I say to go fuck herself and that I will never forgive her for what she did to me," I said angry tears spilling from my eyes._

"_Alright," Max said walking back to his car, "I hope you recover soon and I'll call once there's news of Alice."_

"_Thanks Max," I said wiping my tears._

_Dusty and I watched her drive away before we walked back to our tent. _

"_So that woman that guy was talking about," Dusty said once she zipped up the tent behind her, "is she the reason you're here?"_

"_Well when she came back into my life, I started drinking to try to forget everything," I said sadly._

"_So now you're admitting you're an alcoholic?" Dusty said._

"_Yeah," I said with a sigh, "I guess I was denying it so I can have another drink."_

"_That wouldn't solve the problem now would it?"_

"_No."_

"_You just need time, Helena," Dusty said in that tender tone that caught me off guard every single time, "you will heal."_

"_Did that work for you?"_

"_Sure," Dusty said, "but I bet telling someone would help solve it too."_

"_Yes, all my friends know my situation and it comforts me to know that they can help me at any moment's notice," I said._

"_Well," Dusty started lying down on her sleeping bag, "when I was a little girl, my mother died of cancer."_

"_I had a friend who died of cancer," I said lying down next to her._

"_My dad was so sad and he became this idiot who just went out with random women," Dusty said, "one day he went off and married this lady named Liz and she was a total bitch. She used to do horrible things to me. She used to tell me that people always did bad things to little girls and she always whipped me with this leather belt she used to wear with all of her pants. She put me through four years of torture and then she did something worse."_

"_Worse?" I said gulping._

"_Way worse," Dusty said, "my dad had been away on his very first business trip because of his promotion and he had been gone for over a week, and I guess Liz got a bit…needy. So she went into my room and had her way with me. So I did what my innocent mind told me to do. I imitated a man's look the most possible. I looked like him and acted like him. Every time I sleep with a woman, I never let her do things to me."_

"_But what about your own release?" I said._

"_Never had one, I survive just as well as watching another woman release."_

"_No, Dusty, you have no idea what you're missing out on!" I said sitting up, "look that Liz bitch did something horrible to you, but you can't let it continue to affect your life. Let me dominate, Dusty. Let me show you that what a woman can do to you is beautiful and glorious. Let me make you cum."_

_Dusty's eyes darkened with lust as she looked up and down my body, but she hesitated._

"_Trust me," I whispered leaning down close to her planted a wet kiss on her throat. I slowly climbed on top of her so that I could straddle her and saw the nervousness in her eyes. _

"_Is that what your nightmare is?" I said._

"_Yeah," Dusty said rubbing her calloused hands against my thigh. _

"_Let me make a dream then," I said seductively leaning down and pressing my lips against hers. He felt her strength and power as our lips connected. I could tell she wanted to flip us over and fuck me hard but she was restraining herself. "Sit up," I ordered._

_I heard a small growl from her as she sat slowly. I lifted her shirt and undershirt off of her and I looked at her only in her bra. I have seen her like this before but she never let me get any farther. I wrapped my arms around gently and unclasped her bra. She shuddered nervously as I slipped off the bra. I almost gasped at what I saw. Her breasts were beautiful but there were deep scars on them. I looked into her eyes and saw the sadness. I knew who did this to her. I pushed her back so that she was lying down, then I leaned over and kissed the scars gently. _

_Her back arched involuntarily at the action and she let out the faintest of moans. I licked the scars slowly before swirling my tongue around her nipple, then sucking it into my mouth._

"_Ohhh," Dusty grunted holding head in place as I continued my ministrations. When I stopped I heard her grunt in protest. I smirked as I led a trail of kisses down her body and started unbuckling her jeans. She looked even more nervous but she was in such of state of arousal she didn't want me to stop. I knew that look, I've seen too many times before._

_I slid down Dusty's jeans slowly and looked at the scars that were all over her thighs. I removed her boy shorts slowly revealing her wet center there were scars dangerously close to it, but not on it. She squirmed under my gaze, so I looked up into her eyes with a smile and said, "you are so beautiful."_

_She returned the smile as I leaned down started kissing all her scars, leaving for the last the ones close to her center. When I finally reached the closest one she was bucking her hips anxiously. I gave her what she wanted once she asked for it. I latched my lips onto her clit and she let out a long groan of pleasure. _

"_Holy fuck…" Dusty moaned trailing off as other profanities escaped her lips. I continued sucking greedily enjoying the way her back arched and her hips bucked. I knew what would topple her over, so I brought my fingers up to her opening and pressed one in very slowly._

"_Ahhhhhh," Dusty groaned tensing up upon feeling the intrusion. I knew a trick that drove all the women crazy, but that I never did as much because not many women can handle it. Tina was one of the few that did, so I bet Bette has a lot of fun with her. I knew Dusty would be able to handle so I, still sucking on her swollen nub, I added a second finger and began pushing my fingers up and down instead of in and out. The upwards motion slammed against her G spot while the downwards motions stretched her out._

"_Oh my God!" Dusty grunted as her beck arched up and her entire body started trembling. I continued the motion faster and faster stopping my tongue action to look at her face. Dusty's face was contorted in pleasure then I saw it snap. Her face turned into a silent scream and spasm after spasm started slamming against her body. She trembled in my arms and I felt the violent throbbing against my fingers. They were squeezing my fingers really tightly which meant she came really hard. _

_Then her body went limp and she was panting to catch her breath. "You okay?" I said moving to lie down next to her._

"_Fuck," Dusty breathed, "is that what I've been missing?"_

"_Yes, and I got more tricks," I said smiling._

"_You can show me them later," Dusty said climbing on top of me, "right now it's my turn…"_


	8. Chapter 8

Tasha:

We have been sitting in this damn waiting room for 8 hours and we've heard nothing about Alice.

Bette and Tina were the first to fall asleep, they looked exhausted. Bette was leaning back in her chair, with her head slung back, while Tina leaned her head on her shoulder. I remember one time Alice had slept like that on me during one of our movie fests. God I love her.

Papi had fallen asleep next. She was curling up in her chair. I had told her to go home but she refused to leave me alone plus she had the hots for that nurse, Julie.

Carmen had fallen asleep next. She was lying on Shane's lap. Shane was the only other person awake, she looked as nervous as I probably did. Kit had called several times already and said she would come after she takes Angie to the zoo as promised. Max was on his way over bearing donuts and coffee.

Alice never realized just how many people loved her, and I want her to know that! I want her to live...no I NEED her to live!

"God, I can't stand this," Shane said breaking the silence that had settled about an hour ago when Carmen fell asleep.

"Me neither, I wanna run in there!" I said anxiously.

"She came to my house before she went to find you, ya know," Shane said.

"She did?" I said looking at the skinny woman.

"She was crying, saying that she loves you and couldn't live without you," Shane elaborated, "I told her that it wasn't fair to you if you gave her your whole heart and she only gave you part of it because the rest of it belonged to Dana."

"That's why she wanted to take down her Dana alter," I said.

"That's a big step for Alice," Shane said, "her alters have an emotional connection to her heart, if that even makes sense. That's how she used to explain it."

"You think she really let Dana go?" I said.

"Well she took a bullet for you, what do you think?"

"That it should have been me."

"But also that she couldn't live without you," Shane said, " they were aiming at your head weren't they? She took that bullet because she couldn't live in a world where you weren't alive. I know Alice, she's my best friend after Jenny."

"I love her so much, Shane," I said, my tears flowing freely.

Shane put her hand on my shoulder comfortingly and gave me a small smile. "Then you should tell her that," she said, "stop thinking of your differences and stop trying to find reasons to not be together."

I smiled at Shane, the first time I had been able to do so since the incident, and said, "thanks."

The door opened at that moment and the doctor stepped out walking toward us. I shot up out of my seat startling Papi who rubbed her eyes and stood up. Shane woke up Carmen gently before standing up, while Carmen woke up Bette and Tina.

"Doctor, what happened?" I said worriedly.

The doctor smiled and said, "the surgery was a success. We removed the bullet successfully but it was extremely complicated. We actually lost her for a while but we were able to bring her back, she's a fighter. She received minimal damage to her nerves so she has to be in a wheelchair for a while but with therapy she should be on her feet in no time."

"Oh thank God," Tina said with a sigh. Shane laughed in relief and hugged Carmen.

I thanked God mentally and said, "but she will be able to walk again?"

"Yes, she just needs a lot of dedication and a lot of support," the doctor said, "she kept on saying the name 'Tasha.'"

"That's me," I said crying.

"Well then I think you should be the first one she sees, you can come in."

"Thank you," I said.

"Oh and I will no longer be her doctor, a young doctor named David Waters will be caring for Alice," the doctor said giving Bette a sad look, "let me take you to the room."

"Isn't that your nephew," I heard Shane say while Bette nodded.

"I called Kit and she called him," Tina said the anger still evident on her face.

"Thank you baby," Bette said smiling.

"Will he take care of Alice?" I asked worriedly.

Bette smiled and said, "no one else can care for her more."

I nodded and gave her an understanding smile. We all were curious about what that doctor guy did but we all knew Bette enough to not press the issue.

"Hey guys how's Alice?" Max's voice said as he approached with coffee and donuts. Before anyone any answered they pounced upon the coffee.

"Coffee!" Bette said, "thank God."

Max stood there stunned as he was stripped of items instantly until all that was left were his own donuts and his coffee. "I take it its good news?" Max said.

"Yes," Shane said smiling, "they said that with a little therapy and support she should be able to walk again soon, but other than that she's perfectly fine."

"Oh thank God!" Max said smiling, "she's my business partner, we've become really good friends. I'm so glad she's okay."

"Come on let's go see her," I said unable to hide my happiness.

"I'll meet you guys there, just let me call Ivan so Helena could know what's going on cause she's worried," Max said.

"'Kay see ya in there man," Shane said motioning for me to lead the way.

As we walked I heard Bette talking on the phone with Kit and telling her the news as well as thanking her for the doctor switch. I heard Kit's screaming as she cheered happily for Alice's recovery.

"Hey Tasha," Bette said, "Kit says to tell you that she will support you and Alice in any way that she can."

"Tell her I said thank you," I responded entering the dim room.

Everyone quieted down as we approached Alice who looked peaceful and beautiful in her slumber. They watched silently as I tapped Alice's shoulder gently and her flickered eyes open.

"Tasha," she moaned softly.

"Alice," I said, "I'm right here baby."

Her eyes finished opening and they focused. "Tasha!" She cried weakly extending her hand toward me but the grimacing in pain.

"Shh," I pacified grabbing her hand and setting it down on the bed but never letting it go, "I'm right here baby don't move."

"Tasha," she said weakly, "I died. I saw Dana, a-and Jenny."

"Jenny?" Shane said moving around to the other side of the bed.

I caressed her head gently and looked deep into her eyes. She smiled weakly at me then turned toward Shane, "Jenny wants me to tell you that she wants you and Carmen to get back together because she makes you happy."

Shane looked at Carmen with tears in her eyes then turned back to Alice saying, "I'm so glad your here to tell me that."

Alice laughed softly letting her tears flow. I wiped her tears and she returned her sweet gaze back to me. One by one each of the girls walked up to the side of the bed gave Alice a kiss on the cheek or forehead then left as if they collectively knew that I wanted to be alone with her.

Once Max, who was the last to arrive, planted a gentle kiss on Alice's forehead and left the room I finally got I wanted. "I can't believe you took a bullet for me," I said sitting down on a chair to be more at her eye level.

"I can't live without you," Alice said, "guess that kinda proves it doesn't it."

I laughed as I always did when I was with her, "yeah it does."

"I can't move my legs much," she said grimacing as she tried to move them.

"You're gonna have to do some therapy to be able to move them again but the doctor says that you should recover soon," I said, "and I'll be right there to make sure of it. I promise you Alice Piozeki, that as long as I have a breath in my lungs and a beat in my heart that I will never leave you because every breath and every beat happens because I love you."

Alice smiled at me through her tear streaked face and said, "I love you too, Tasha Williams, I always have."

I leaned in gently and kissed her on the lips. Then I leaned my forehead on hers and we stayed that way just enjoying the feel of each other. That's all I really need...

...

Tina:

"Oh my God, I'm so tired," Bette said with a yawn, " I don't think I could find any energy."

"I still have a lot of energy, I could sure use a fucking punching bag," I said still feeling that anger coursing through my veins like a poison.

"You're still mad huh?" Bette said.

"I mean you finally confide in me this horrible thing and then we run into one of the guys who did that horrible thing the same night!" I spat angrily, "you've already gone through so much and then he shows up again! And to top it off all of our friends basically know now and you have kept it a secret for so long! They can figure it out. I didn't want you telling me to cause all of this, cause if that's the case it would have been better if you hadn't tol..." "Tina! Tina!" Bette said grabbing my arms to stop my rambling, "look telling you was the best thing I have ever done! I wouldn't have been able to deal with this by myself. It wasn't your fault that everyone found out, it was just meant to be."

I took a deep breath and tried counting backwards from 100 to try to control my anger. "I love how angry you got though," Bette said kissing me on the lips, "it shows how much you care."

"Well I must care a lot because I could fucking go Tasmanian devil in this place," I seethed.

Bette chuckled at my comment and said, "come on let's go home and get some sleep, that's always relaxing."

I nodded and followed her to the car. I handed her the car keys and said, "too angry to drive."

Bette laughed and grabbed the keys, "you're funny when you're angry. Well at least when you're not angry at me."

I laughed at her remark and got in the car. Bette had barely put the keys in the ignition when her phone rang.

"Hello?" she said answering the phone. After a moment of silence she said, "what time is it? 10? Oh fuck, I didn't realize what time it was! There's no way I would be able to go to that meeting, James."

I heard James responding anxiously then Bette said, "I understand that but I can't close a deal like this. Look, I'll stop by the gallery and brief Kelly on what she needs to do and she can close the deal."

I heard James responding and Bette laughed. "No she's not very bright James but that's why you're going with her to make sure she nails that shit. Mmhmm, yes you'll get a raise. Okay I'll be at the gallery in like 5 minutes 'kay?"

"Bye," she said as she hung up the phone and turned to me, "I'm so sorry babe I just have to brief Kelly on the meeting and then we can go home. It'll be 15 minutes tops."

"That's okay baby," I said, "I still have to calm myself down and some alone time in the car could help."

"Or you can look around the gallery," Bette suggested, "art always calms me down."

"I might try that if I can't calm down in the car," I said.

"Alright let's go," Bette said turning on the car and driving out of the parking lot. It didn't take long to get to the gallery since it was near the hospital so I stayed in the car as Bette got down and went inside the gallery.

After about 5 minutes of sitting in the car I couldn't seem to control my anger still so I went into the gallery and started looking at the art work. It helped a bit, because my focus had shifted to try to figure out what the artwork was and it got my mind off of tonight's events. It was almost 10 and Bette and I had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep, 2 and half in the waiting room and the rest at home, so that wasn't helping my situation.

I mumbled about it grumpily for a minute when I heard Bette's voice in another room. I neared the wall and peered inside the room where I saw Bette handing some papers to Kelly.

It occurred to me that only yesterday I found out that she still made passes at Bette. The anger resurged and I had to grip the wall to not lunge into the room and kick her ass.

"Everything you need to know is in there," Bette said, "and James is going with you."

"Why can't you?" Kelly whined.

Ugh I could kick her ass just for having that annoying ass voice.

"Because I'm going to go home with my fiancé and sleep," Bette said.

I smiled proudly, good answer baby.

I saw Kelly stand up with a shocked expression, "oh come on you can't get married without being with me at least once."

"Kelly, we've been through this, I love Tina and I am not the same Bette Porter you remember," Bette said calmly. I don't know how she remained calm when I was ready to burst in anger.

When I saw Kelly grab Bette by the waist and pull her in for a kiss, I lost it. Bette was pushing her off but I got to her much faster. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her off of Bette abruptly.

"Tina!" I heard Bette say.

"Look bitch, you get your hands off my woman!" I shrieked lifting my hand into the air and connecting my fist firmly against her face.

"Shit! Tina!" Bette cried grabbing my waist and pulling me back.

"Fucking bitch!" I yelled connecting my other fist to her head as Bette tugged me back, using her superior strength to lift me off the floor.

"Tina! Calm down!" Bette said pinning me against the wall and pressing her body firmly against mine.

"Ow, what the fuck!" Kelly whined rubbing her face and rolling around on the floor. She sat up and we noticed the blood on her temple and the black eye.

"Shit," Bette said looking back at me.

"Makeup can cover that shit, she can take another!" I said lunging at her again only to be sustained by Bette and pushed against the wall with more force.

"Tina! That's enough!" Bette shouted pressing her body even closer to me, her lips mere inches away from mine. I felt my breathing picking up and it wasn't because of the fighting.

"Let's go," Bette snapped grabbing my arm and pulling me away, "sorry about that Kelly, good luck at the meeting."

"You didn't have to fucking apologize to her," I said straining against her grip.

She tugged me forward harshly and basically threw me in the car. "Seriously Tina," she spat once she got in the car, "you're acting like a fucking five year old! What, do you need anger fucking management now?"

She turned on the ignition and sped out of the parking lot and onto the street. "I don't want that fucking whore touching you!" I snapped.

"I could take care of myself, Tina!" Bette shouted, "didn't you see I was pushing her off! I was trying to keep my cool so I wouldn't lose my fucking job!"

"You won't lose your job that bitch would be in ruins without you, she's a clueless bimbo," I snapped.

"How the fuck am I gonna fucking face her tomorrow?"

"She knows she deserved it, she won't say shit!"

"You were always against fucking violence then you beat the shit out of her like that!" Bette snapped as drove into our driveway.

We out of the car angrily and slammed the doors behind us. "Fuck that!" I yelled following her into the house and slamming the door behind me, "I've always stood idly by as shit happened to our relationship! If I fucking saw Candace right now, I would beat the shit out of her too!"

"That doesn't solve shit!" Bette yelled throwing her keys on the counter.

"No, but it shows you and the fucking world that I fucking love you and no one, and I mean NO ONE is going to take you away from me!" I yelled slipping off my shirt and going into the bathroom.

Bette followed me in and stood at the doorway looking at me in surprise. "Fuck Candace, and fuck Kelly, and fuck Jodi too!" I yelled, "she fucking knew I loved you! She can't hear, she makes interpretations out of people expressions and actions. She fucking knew!"

"She obviously didn't read me right," Bette said in a low sultry voice. I turned around from the sink and looked at her. I was panting from the screaming and I must have looked like a fucking demon from all that rage.

Then, with a simultaneous moan, the both of us ran at each other and met in the middle with our lips. We fought for dominance in the middle of the bathroom, each of us trying to push each other against the wall. With a strength I didn't know I had, I grabbed the top of Bette's shirt and ripped it right down the middle.

She moaned at the action and looked at me in surprise for a moment before moving her hands down to unbuckle my jeans. I did the same and we ended out sliding our own jeans off because we didn't have the patience.

Bette had her jeans off first and she took advantage of the moment to push me harshly so that my back cracked against the wall almost painfully.

My anger still surging within me I grabbed Bette by the hair and pulled her towards me aggressively. "Ahh," Bette cried painfully. She retaliated by grabbing mine and pulling it roughly.

"Ow! Let go!" I yelled.

"You let go first!" Bette screamed back grinding her hips against mine in an effort to escape.

We both let out a moan and gripped each other's hair tighter. "Fuck!" I cried painfully.

"Ow, ow! Okay let go on three!" Bette said, "one, two, three!" we released each other's hair and rubbed each other's heads soothingly before pulling each other into a kiss again.

"Fuck you, Bette Porter," I moaned unclasping her bra, "I fucking love you so much it hurts!"

Bette moaned slipping her tongue into mouth and unclasping my bra. She pressed me harder against the wall, pressing her breasts into mine so deliciously.

"Fuck you too, Tina Kinnard," Bette responded, "I can't live without you!"

We both moaned slipping our hands into each other's panties. Aggressively, I pushed two fingers into Bette roughly and she let out a scream of pleasure.

"Fucking shit!" Bette cried returning the favor harder than any other time she has ever done it. I imagine it was the same for her because I have never seen that mask of pleasure on her face, ever.

I moaned loudly pulling my fingers out and slamming them back in again. I heard Bette scream out a string of profanities then she did the same to me. We were screaming loudly. Our cries echoing off the walls. Every time her fingers entered me, my body lurched forward and slammed harshly against the wall. I let out scream after scream as each time her fingers crashed into my G spot.

Bette was in a world of her own. She was screaming louder than ever and I could see she was having a hard time standing, but she was channeling all her anger and energy into her fingers. Then she hit that one spot. That one spot that sent me to the point of no return, and I let out a ear-piercing scream while adding a third finger into Bette to make sure to take her with me. My plan worked because she let out a scream of her own, and we both came trembling down to the floor in a heap.

I was leaning against the wall breathing hard and Bette was lying on my stomach seemingly passed out.

"Baby," I breathed out, "I'm sorry."

"S-sorry too," she managed to pant out.

I sat up slowly feeling all the soreness hit me instantly, but it was the good kind of sore. "Come on, let's go to bed," I said grabbing her arms and lifting her up.

We walked like a couple of drunk women out of the bathroom and toward the bed. When we got to the bed Bette collapsed onto it and I landed on top of her, breast to breast.

We lied like that for a minute then I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and said, "I love you."

Bette gave me a wary smile and wrapped her arms around me weakly, "I love you too." I smiled and cuddled into the crook of her neck and we fell asleep wrapped up in our loving embrace…


	9. Chapter 9

Helena:

"So she's okay then?" Dusty said looking at me.

"Yes, I'm so relieved," I said smiling.

"So you think we'll pass the test?" Dusty said looking toward the large tent where Ivan was taking each person in one by one.

"I hope so, if we do we get to leave," I said.

"It'll be nice to be out of prison," Dusty said.

"Do you have a place to go?" I asked.

"Well I'm sure I still have a room at the center, if not I'll go to my brother's garage, he's okay with it as long as I don't scratch his car," Dusty said.

"What? Are you serious?" I said incredulously.

"Yes, very serious," Dusty said, "that's the way it has always been."

"Well not anymore," I said firmly, "when we nail this test, you can go home with me. I'll take you to meet my friends, I told them about you."

"Oh yeah? What did you tell them?" Dusty said with a smirk.

"I told them how you saved me from that crazy old bitch and how you protected me and then you ate me out so good in our cell," I said.

Dusty laughed and said, "wow your friends are very open!"

"Oh yes, we have gotten to the point where we can see someone and know if they had sex or not," I said, "they don't even have to say anything! I remember this one time I went out jogging and I heard moaning from inside this limo and my roommate Alice stumbled out a little afterwards."

"Ah, but that's cheating she was moaning and stuff," Dusty said, "I thought you could tell by just looking at them the next morning or something."

"We can do that too, especially Shane, who's like a freaking sex addict."

"Okay, tell me the story then," Dusty urged sitting down as there was still a lot of people in front of us.

I sat down across from her and like a gossiping little teenager and said, "so this one time, we're having breakfast at the Planet. It was me, Alice, Tasha, Shane, Jenny, Max, and Kit. So Bette walks in and she has this smile on her face and we knew she had gotten laid the night before. This was when I had just bought out Hit and Bette had just broken up with Jodi, so we were confused. Either she slept with Tina, or she slept with Jodi. So then Tina walks in and she's looking pretty neutral so we all looked at each other like 'what the fuck?' And it was Alice and her big mouth who talked first, she said 'hey Porter, what the fuck, I thought you and Tina got back together!'

"'We did,' Bette said, and we were all looking at her like 'how could you do that again!'

"Then Alice just wouldn't shut up and she said, 'but we know you got laid last night and Tina doesn't look it, so that means you cheated again!'

"I really don't know what possessed Alice to say that, I guess she was speaking her thoughts aloud because she covered her mouth and Tasha started scolding her. We all kept waiting for like the big reaction, but instead they both laughed. Then Kit was the one who asked, 'what's so funny?'

"And Tina said, and I kid you not these are her exact words, 'she didn't cheat on me. Yes, Bette got fucked last night, but by me! By the time I was finished with her she was too exhausted to please me, that's why I don't show anything. I'm horny as hell!'"

Dusty broke out in laughter and said, "I'm gonna like your friends!"

"Yes, we reacted quite like that too," I said, "then we were in hysterics because Bette asked Kit to take Angie so that she could return the favor!"

"That's hilarious!" Dusty said, "I wish I had friends like that!"

"Well, now you do," I said.

Dusty smiled at me as Ivan called our my name. Dusty kissed me on the lips and said, "good luck baby."

I smiled at her words, the first I've ever heard her call me any term of endearment, and said, "thank you and let's go home tonight yeah?"

Dusty nodded and walked into the tent. "Have a seat," Ivan said.

I sat down crossed-legged in front of him and said, "I'm ready."

"So, what have you learned in your time here?" Ivan said.

"That, I'm an alcoholic, but that I don't need alcohol to be happy," I answered.

"So are you saying that you won't need to drink because Dylan is out of your life and now you have Dusty?"

"Yes."

"But what if Dusty leaves you?"

"No, she wouldn't!" I snapped.

"But say she did," Ivan said calmly, "would you drink again? How would you cope with it?"

I looked down and imagined that horrible circumstance. I found that my heart was beating fast at the thought of losing Dusty. What am I feeling here? I couldn't resort to drinking no matter what. I had heard from the other alcoholics in the group of stories where they were drunk driving and either they killed the other driver or a passenger traveling with them. I especially remembered a young man who was crying because he had been drunk driving and in the accident he killed his kid brother who was the same age as my son.

I have become a threat to my own children and no matter what happens, I wouldn't resort to drinking again. "I would talk to Kit, or talk to you," I said.

Ivan smiled at my answer and said, "you're always welcome at our A.A. meetings. Kit has been there a few times herself after that breakup she had with that Mangus guy."

"Yeah, that was her nickname for him, she's happy with her new boyfriend now," I said, "she's really helped me a lot. She used to tell me all these horrible things that she did when she was drunk and I was too stupid to realize that she was trying to get me to open my eyes and stop drinking."

"No," Ivan said gently, "you are not stupid. You were just blind, Helena. Now your eyes have opened and you are ready to spread your wings and fly."

"You mean…"

"Yeah, you can leave tonight," Ivan said smiling.

I laughed happily and said, "Oh my God! Thank you so much!" I hugged Ivan tightly and ran out of the tent. Dusty picked up on my excitement quickly and knew what had happened.

We embraced lovingly and held each other for a long moment. She rubbed her calloused hands in circles on my lower back and I gripped her back tightly hanging on for dear life. Then, out of nowhere, tears were stinging my eyes and I was crying onto her shoulder. She held me tightly and kissed my hair softly.

"Shh, it's okay," she said soothingly, "you've been through so much. It's all over now."

I covered my face in the crook of neck then parted away from her slowly, to look into her eyes. I saw that look in her eyes. That same look she had when she had woken up from that nightmare. That fear. But what was she afraid of? Not getting out of here today? Losing me? Or just scared of life? I leaned in and pressed my lips firmly against hers and she responded instantly. The kiss was soft and tender. Our tongues were dueling gently, but my heart was racing at 100 miles per hour. It was like a tentative first kiss, but there was so much passion. I'd never kissed anyone like that in my whole life.

Not the mother of my children. Not Dylan. No one. What is happening to me? "Dusty," I heard Ivan call.

We broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes again, then Dusty gave me a warm smile. "My turn," she said softly, "we'll be out here tonight."

She brushed past me and went into the tent while I stood in place, thoughts racing in my head like NASCAR. There was collisions and explosions, and there were five different ones head to head. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I did what I promised I wouldn't do again with anyone, no matter who.

I fell in love with Dusty…

…...

Alice:

I have been in therapy all day. David said that if I do well and my body can withstand the pressure, he'll let me go home, as long as someone was always caring for me. Tasha volunteered almost instantly, and Shane agreed to care for me when Tasha was at work. Even Papi volunteered for a few nights, for when Shane wanted a night off.

The therapy was going moderately well. My legs were functioning, but I was walking like Bambi. I wasn't scared to take a step though, because Tasha was there, catching me every time my legs buckled and I fell forward. After a long session, David scheduled a physical for later in the afternoon and if I pass, I get to go home.

Tasha was at the apartment getting it ready, just in case, and I lied on my bed flipping through the channels. Tina walked into the room holding flowers and I sat up happily.

"Tina!" I said happily.

"Hey Al, how you feeling?" she said smiling broadly and setting the flowers on the table. That's when I saw the deep bruises on her arms and the hickeys all over her throat and chest.

"Holy shit!" I cried breaking into laughter.

"What?" she said, her smile never leaving her face.

"You got fucked hard last night!" I said wiping the tears that slipped from my eyes in my laughter.

"Actually this morning," Tina said quietly, "but don't tell Bette I told you. You know she doesn't care if you guys figure out that we had sex by just looking at us, but she hates it when I talk about it."

"I don't know why she hates to kiss and tell, she loves sex," I said wiggling my eyebrows.

"Everybody knows that," Tina said sarcastically.

I laughed and said, "so what, did you two get a little violent? Look at all those bruises!"

"You should see the ones on my back," Tina said, putting her finger to lips as if saying, 'shh, it's a secret.'

"Dayum," I said, "I wonder how Bette ended up."

"She passed out," Tina said laughing, "I left her by the pool with Angie. She was too sore to do much else but lay there."

"Wow, Tina," I said, "you never cease to amaze me! You took down the almighty Bette Porter! You never did that before."

"I didn't do a lot of things before I had Angie," Tina said.

"So I guess the experiences you had with Helena and that crazy lady I set you up with-I forgot her damn name-made you more…alpha?"

"And Henry too."

"No way!"

"Yeah, but don't tell Bette," Tina said, "Henry was always trying to control me. That's just the way men are."

"Well, and Bette," I added.

"No, not anymore," Tina said, "I think her relationship with Jodi fixed that problem, but anyways it doesn't matter because Henry was a thousand times worse!"

"Worse than Bette?"

"Way worse! He tried to control me in the bedroom, and in the household decisions, and even in my work schedule! But when he tried to make a decision about Angelica, I started to become more aggressive and gain control."

"Ugh, God, I can't believe I ever liked men," I muttered.

"So, wait, you're not bisexual anymore?"

"Just like you're not straight anymore," I said sarcastically.

"I was never straight, Al."

"I know," I said smiling, "we all knew. We all saw the way you looked at Bette."

Tina smiled at me and said, "so did anyone tell you the news?"

"Shane said there was good news, but that you should be the one to tell me," I responded, "what's going on?"

"Bette and I, are engaged," Tina said happily.

"Ahhhh! Oh my God! Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" I screamed grabbing Tina and pulling her into a hug even though it hurt like hell to do so.

"Whoa, take it easy there, Alice," David's voice said making us break the hug.

"Oh sorry, I was excited," I said.

"Hey David, how are you?" Tina said politely standing up straight and hugging him gently.

"Pretty good, how's Angie and Aunt Bette?" he answered.

"Really good," Tina said smiling.

"So what are you excited about, Alice? You know you're not supposed to do any sort of strenuous activity," David said.

"Ha, ha, no sex for A-lice," Tina taunted in my ear so that David wouldn't hear.

I laughed and muttered, "fuck you, Tina."

"So?" David pressed.

"Oh, I'm excited because Bette and Tina and engaged to be married!" I announced excitedly.

"So get better, because not only do we have a movie to do, we have a wedding to plan!" Tina said.

"You two are engaged?" David said in surprise, "congratulations."

It was obvious he wasn't pleased with the news, but we all knew he was a homophobe.

Tina and I ignored it and I said, "you're gonna let me plan the wedding?"

"Help me plan the wedding!" Tina said with an emphasis on help.

"Oh my God, yes of course!"

"And if it's not too much trouble," Tina said smiling, "if you wanna be my maid of honor we wou…"

"YES!" I shouted, "Oh my God, yes!"

"I'm glad to hear it," Tina said smiling.

"Well it's time for the physical," David said stepping to the other side of the bed, "hopefully, I can send you home tonight…"

…...

Shane:

Poor Carmen was exhausted. We left the hospital at around 11 and she went straight to work. I slept all day and when she came home she was utterly exhausted. She crashed on the couch once she got in the house, but she muttered that she would be awake for our date tonight. I have been planning the date all day long. I wanna make our second first date the most amazing date ever! I wanna leave her speechless. I wanna see her beautiful smile that always left me breathless.

I was out in the backyard smoking a cigarette when I heard laughter coming from Bette's yard. I peered over the gate and I saw Bette lying on a pool chair with Angie sitting on her stomach. Bette was tickling her and Angie was howling in laughter. I smiled at the sight and said, "hey."

Bette turned her head and gave me a bright smile, "hey Shane. Come on over."

I went around the gate and lied down on the pool chair next to her. I looked at her closer now and saw hickeys and bite marks on basically every visible part of her body.

I started chuckling and Bette looked at me curiously. "What?" she said smiling.

"I didn't realize Tina was such a tiger," I answered looking at her.

I saw Bette avert her eyes, but she had a smirk plastered on her face. "I'm sore," Bette confessed, "we went at it in the bathroom."

I chuckled at her words. I was the only person she confided these things to. None of our friends knew this, heck not even Tina knew, that Bette and I often got together and talked about our sexual escapades. I always had a variety of stories and Bette always talked about the things she tried with Tina. Of course, we haven't done in it in a while because things got a little nasty, but now that things are back to normal, I'm glad we can have these talks again.

"Went at what, Momma B?" Angelica said smiling.

Bette's eyes widened and I started laughing. "They went at the sink," I said, "see Momma B messed up. It's not went at the sink, it's went _to the sink."_

_Bette gave me an appreciative nod and I smiled broadly at her. "Angie, why don't you go play Wii?" Bette said._

"_Yay, and then we can get icecream?" Angelica said bouncing on Bette's stomach. Bette grimaced slightly and nodded with a small smile. Angelica bounded into the house excitedly and Bette sat up slowly._

"_She did you bad, huh?" I said laughing._

"_Yeah, it's more like she did me good," Bette said._

"_I wonder what Tina would say if she ever found out about our little kiss and tell meetings," I said sitting up._

"_She would get mad," Bette said, "because I tell her to never tell people about what we do in private."_

"_That's cause she tells Alice, and Alice has the biggest mouth…" I trailed off knowing Bette got my meaning._

"_I know you can keep secrets," Bette said smiling, "out of all our friends, you're the one whom I trust the most."_

"_I trust you too Bette," I said smiling and tapping her gently on the knee._

"_I know in public we are not very close and we greet each other with handshakes," Bette said, "but I care so much for you and I would be honored if you agreed to be the best woman at my wedding."_

"_What?" I said in surprise. _

"_Shane, will you be my best woman?" Bette said smiling at me broadly._

"_Oh my God! Of course!" I said without even thinking twice leaning forward and pulling Bette into a tight hug. _

_Bette returned the hug fondly and we held each other for a while. "Alice will be the maid of honor," Bette said as we broke the hug._

"_She must be super excited," I said imagining the blonde screaming in excitement._

"_So," Bette said, "how are things with you and Carmen?"_

"_Good, we starting over. We have our first date tonight, I should probably get ready."_

"_Good luck."_

_I stood up to leave and turned around to say, "hey, if you wanna get Tina back for that mad as fuck, you should get a good dildo and not stop until she's screaming your name."_

_Bette laughed loudly and said, "you know Tina and I don't use toys."_

"_That's why it would surprise the hell out of her," I said, "trust me, spicing things up won't hurt."_

"_Hmm," Bette said probably imagining the scene, "I'll think about it."_

"_And if you do it, make sure to give me the details."_

_Bette smiled and waved at me as I left her backyard. I went straight to my room and put on my favorite dickies with the T-shirt that Carmen gave me on my birthday when we were dating. I hadn't worn it before because we had broken up before I got the chance. I went into the bathroom and fixed my hair, making sure every single was in the right place._

_I heard rummaging in Jenny's room, so I knew Carmen was getting ready, then I sat in the living room and waited for her. When she came out of the room I thought my heart was crash out of my chest. She was wearing skinny jeans and a form-fitting shirt that brought out every single curve of her body. Her hair was tied back in a clip and there were strands hanging on her face. I couldn't have done it better myself._

_When she noticed my shirt I saw a smile cross her features. "It looks good on you," she said walking up to me and taking my arm while I led her outside._

"_Well, what can I say, the person who gave it to me has very good taste," I said winking at her._

_We went to my car and I drove out onto the road._

"_So where we going?" Carmen said. _

"_It's a surprise," I said, "so since we have started over, Carmen, what do you like to do in your free time?"_

_Carmen giggled and said, "well Shane, when I'm not working at the studio, I like to deejay."_

"_Deejay? Wow! Are you good?" I said laughing._

"_My friends say so," Carmen said with a smile, "what do you like to do?"_

"_When I'm not fixing people's hair, I like to take and develop pictures," I answered._

_A look of surprise crossed Shane's features and she gasped aloud. "You do? I didn't know that!"_

"_It's a relatively new hobby."_

"_Really? Wow, you have to show me your pictures!"_

"_Well, Jenny gave me a photo studio, all my pictures are there."_

"_Jenny gave you a photo studio? Oh my God! That's amazing! You have to take me afterwards," Carmen said._

"_No, I haven't gone there since Jenny's death," I confessed._

"_Why not?"_

"_Because, I just…she gave it to me and now she's dead, I just…"_

"_She would want you to have it," Carmen said, "take me there after the date, Shane, please?"_

_I sighed as I thought about it. I mean Carmen helped me clean out Jenny's room when I was too scared to go in there by myself, I suppose if she went with me into the photo studio I would be able to actually walk in. I do miss taking pictures. "Fine, I'll take you," I said as I got onto the solitary road that led up to the mountain._

"_The mountain?" Carmen said looking around._

"_Yes," I said, "open the glove compartment and put the blindfolds on."_

"_Blindfolds? On a mountain? I don't like the sound of that," Carmen said giggling, opening the glove compartment and taking out said item._

_I chuckled as she slipped on the blindfolds and started tapping her fingers impatiently. I parked the car and got out, running to the other side to open the door. I grabbed her hand and led her to the table I had set up on the mountain with the food that I cooked with the help of Lara who was back in town to visit her family. I told her about Alice so she should be visiting her before she goes back to San Fran. I sat Carmen down in her chair and took off the blindfolds. Carmen gasped as she saw the highly organized table with two covered platters and a fresh bottle of wine._

"_Wow, Shane!" Carmen breathed, "did you do all of this?"_

"_Well a friend helped me with the cooking, but for the most part yeah," I answered honestly._

"_That's amazing," Carmen said standing up, "thank you." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek gently. I couldn't help but shiver at the touch of her sweet lips. God how I've missed them._

_She smiled and sat back down and I sat across from her.._

"_So," Carmen said, "what are we eating tonight?"_

_I leaned over the table and took off the top revealing a beautifully decorated lobster with vegetables. Carmen looked at me in surprise and I smiled widely before opening mine and serving the wine._

"_Is this too much for a first date?" I said tentatively._

"_No, no!" Carmen said laughing, "this is great. I couldn't have asked for a better second first date."_

"_Okay, so Bette asked me to be her best woman at her wedding," I said._

"_No way! That's so sweet!" Carmen said, "I didn't know you guys were that close."_

"_Bette and I have a tendency of hiding our feelings."_

"_Yes, I know," Carmen said, "but honestly I think you've both learned your lesson."_

"_We did."_

"_So what do you have to do?" Carmen asked as she broke off the first piece of her lobster and began eating while I took a sip of my wine._

"_Well, I have to go with Bette and get suits. Other than that I don't know what else she'll have me do. Probably she wants me to help with the invitations or something, I'm sure Tina and Alice will take of the flowers and cake and all that other stuff," I said._

"_Alice will be the maid of honor?" Carmen said, "that's amazing! She must be ecstatic."_

"_I bet she already has the wedding playing out in her mind," I said digging into my lobster._

"_Probably," Carmen said swallowing her food, "hey, don't let them pick out bad bridesmaid dresses. Tina asked me to be one at the hospital."_

"_When?" I said._

"_When you, Papi, and Bette went to the liquor to get snacks," Carmen said, "she asked me and Tasha, but Tasha said she wanted to be one of the brides women, or whatever Bette's gonna call them."_

"_She just doesn't wanna wear a dress," I said, "I know the feeling."_

"_No!" Carmen said laughing, "I thought you looked cute in that dress."_

"_Eww, never again!" I said._

"_Just don't let them get like purple, green, and magenta dresses or some ugly shit like that."_

"_Nah, Tina has good taste."_

"_But I heard, girls choose bad bridesmaid's dresses so that no one can look better than her."_

"_Come on Carmen," I said, "it's hard for you to not look good first of all, and do you really think Tina is gonna look bad?"_

"_Hmm," Carmen said with a smile, "she does have a bomb body."_

_I smiled in agreement, knowing better than to voice that opinion, "but she will also be so happy, no one can outshine her."_

"_You're right," Carmen said eating the last of her lobster._

_I finished mine and refilled our glasses of wine. "So," I said, "would you like to go to Six Flags with me tomorrow?"_

"_Six Flags? I haven't gone in years," Carmen said excitedly, "I would love to."_

"_So I got a second date," I said pumping my fist in the air happily, "yes!"_

_Carmen laughed and picked up her wine glass, "to new beginnings!"_

_I grabbed my glass and hit it against hers very gently, "to new beginnings."_

_We downed the wine then she stood up, "to the photo shop."_

"_I hoped you would have forgotten."_

"_Not gonna happen," Carmen said smiling._

"_Fine, I'll clean this up tomorrow," I said with a sigh walking to my car. She got into the passenger side and we drove away from our wonderful first date. When I parked in front of the store I couldn't will myself to get out of the car. It was Carmen who opened my door and dragged me out. She's the one who grabbed my keys, unlocked the door, and pulled me in. _

"_Wow," she said looking around the room. Once I was inside I felt a little more comfortable and started showing Carmen around. When we got to the back I showed her some pictures but we froze in our spots when we saw the media section and Jenny's things were all over the place._

"_God," I said._

"_Come on, we have to get her things out of here," Carmen said grabbing my hand._

"_This was the last thing she ever did," I said letting my tears fall._

_Carmen's brown hand was there to catch them and wipe them away gently. She caressed my face gently and looked at me in the eyes, with that look that used to make me melt into her._

_Slowly, we started to gather Jenny's things and Carmen noticed a tape in the video player. "I think she forgot a tape," she said._

"_Play it," I said hesitantly._

_Carmen nodded and played it. Jenny appeared on the screen and we both froze, unable to turn away or shut the tape off._

"_Hey," Jenny said, "this is the second time I record a message to say goodbye to you, Bette and Tina, I don't know which one I'll keep." _

_She moved a strand of hair out of her face and tears started to roll down her pale face. "Bette, Tina, you will be missed greatly."_

"_Oh my God," I murmured._

"_You know," Jenny said, "my life went downhill when I came to this city. I thought I would be happy with Tim, but then I met Marina. Things started spiraling out of control after that. I lost everything. I lost myself. I started dating crazy people, doing crazy things." _

_She moved her sleeve up and exposed the scars all over her wrists, "I don't know what my intentions were when I did this. I just know, that you guys were so supportive of me. And even when I started being a total bitch to you guys, you were frustrated yeah, but you still had patience with me. Especially you, Tina. I was such an asshole to you and I hope you can forgive me. _

"_You know," Jenny continued, "part of me wishes that Shane wouldn't have opened that door and found me bleeding in the bathroom. I wish she wouldn't have saved me. I wish someone would take me out of this miserable existence. So I focus on making your lives difficult. I don't know why, maybe I'm secretly hoping for someone to kill me."_

"_This is where we part ways," Jenny said, "I don't know where I'm going from here, but I know it's better than where I am now. I'm gonna wait until you guys leave to New York before I end my life, and I want you to know that I have an unpublished novel. One dedicated to you guys. One that will do you justice, as an apology of sorts for Lez Girls. It is located in the attic, in a box labeled, 'I'm sorry.' And I'm really sorry."_

_The video ended and Carmen and I were in a fit of tears. "She wanted to kill herself, but she didn't get that chance did she?" Carmen said._

"_Or maybe she just gave up early," I said, "I can't believe she would do that!"_

"_Maybe that's why she didn't put this video in the gift," Carmen said, "maybe she changed her mind."_

"_God, Jenny," I said crying, "I tried to save you. I really did."_

"_You couldn't, Shane," Carmen said wiping the tears and pressing her lips gently to mine. I looked at her in the eyes and I saw sympathy._

_I kissed her again more forcefully then parted from her, looking into her eyes once more. Now I saw a fire in her eyes that threatened to burn down my soul. She pounced on me pressing her lips to mine and climbing on top of me._

_I returned the kiss passionately unable to contain myself when she touched me. We moaned into the kiss and her hands moved to my shirt. When she started to lift up my shirt I stopped her and said, "are you sure you wanna do this? Isn't this too soon?"_

"_God, Shane, I'm burning alive," Carmen said huskily, "I can't live another day without your touch." She pounced once more, kissing me roughly and lifting off my shirt._

"_Carmen," I moaned once I felt her hands on my breasts. She kneaded them mercilessly as I threw my head back. "Mother fucker," I moaned feeling her lips encircle my nipple._

_I took control and lifted off her shirt smiling when I saw she wasn't wearing a bra. I latched my lips onto her nipple moaning when I heard the loud moan that escaped her lips. She took the dominance again, pushing me down onto my back and putting my hands over my head. She liked doing that. She held my hands up with one hand while her other hand unbuckled my pants. My breath was picking up too fast and I started struggling against her to try to get the upper hand. She held me strong as she slid her hand into my pants and panties and touched my moist center roughly. She went directly to the spot making me buck up instinctively and let out a gasp. I was able to get one of my hands loose and I slid it down her body._

_She was so engrossed in rubbing my clit that she didn't object when I started unbuckling her jeans. I slid my hand in and imitated her movements and enjoyed the sound of her moan. I don't like to moan but I couldn't hold it back when her finger entered me. _

"_Ahhh fuck!" I moaned slipping my own finger inside of her._

"_Yesss," Carmen moaned bucking into my hand. She started pressing her hips into her hand, making her finger sink deeper within me while at the same taking in mine. _

_Our moans started to fill the room and sweat started to fill our bodies. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Carmen yelled as her body started trembling ferociously and her pussy started clamping around my fingers. Her scream was enough to send me over my own edge and I came hard with a long moan. _

_She collapsed onto my chest and I wrapped my arms around her holding her to me. "God, I've missed you," I whispered._

"_I missed you too," Carmen said struggling to catch her breath._

"_Carmen?" I said._

"_Hmm?" she said sleepily._

"_I love you…" _


End file.
